Twice I was tested with the question pro-life or pro-choice

When I was sixteen years old I was pregnant. I chose to abort the child and I am still drawn to tearful regret of that choice. My mother came with me to the abortion clinic and tried to prepare me for what I might feel both physically and mentally. I wish someone at the time would have told me what the procedure was and what the child would endure. It was not until after the abortion when I was leaving I saw a prenatal diagram of the child's growth inside the womb. I walked up to the picture that defined the stages of three months. My eyes started to well up and I touched the picture and said, Oh my God it has hands and feet and a cute little butt. Inside I quietly screamed. God what have I done? Years later I would have a dream that Jesus took me by the hand as we entered into heaven. I was in awe of the large pillars that were to my right. There was a liquid like substance that draped like curtians and sparkled. I was so intent on the view I did not realize that Jesus was no longer beside me but standing in front of me. Behind Jesus a boy with dark hair and big brown eyes peered from around Jesus garment. Jesus said, "This is your son. The son that I aborted. I will never forget the look on Jesus and his face. They did not need to say a word. I knew I was forgiven. When telling my mother about the dream she confirmed to me that the child was a boy.

I always believed that God gave me that dream to show me that he was in heaven as well as that I was forgiven. It never occured to me until the making of this video that God's intentions for me within that dream might have been for a test I would unknowingly enter. This time I was diagnosed with bone cancer and given three to eighteen months to live. The chemo therapy was so agressive tat the doctors said I was going through early menopause. They said that I would not be able to get pregnant.

A few years later I went to church alone and one particular Sunday I felt God had told m

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