6 Misconceptions Or Myths About Dating

Because of all the fairy tales we’ve read since childhood as well as the influence of TV and movies, many of us keep misconceptions about dating. Unfortunately, we carry these myths into our relationships and suffer when it fails. Not everyone believes that dating is necessary; however for those who choose to date, it’s important to shed the lies that keep believers from walking in the truth.

Myth #1) Dating guarantees marriage.

“Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, “If it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that” (James 4:14-15).

Dating doesn’t always end in marriage—and sometimes it could be the confirmation that God has called us to not marry. Dating is an opportunity to get to know someone better in an engaging and fun environment. Marriage may be considered in time; however, take it slow and prayerful seeking God’s will for the relationship.

Myth #2) Dating means spending majority of our time with one person.

“God is present in the company of the righteous” (Psalm 14:5).

Many believers have fallen into sin because of the lack of wisdom in their dating practices. Too much time with someone we are fond of can result in sexual sin. It’s important to do a fair share of dating in the safety and company of other Christians. There is comfort in numbers when we want to receive feedback or counsel from wise friends.

Myth #3) Dating requires seeing a lot of people in order to find the right one.

“Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it” (Matthew 7:13-14).

If we are praying for God to send us a husband or wife, then there’s only one person we are looking for. We must be careful to not fall into the lie of having to date a large number of people before we find the one. When we humble ourselves and patiently trust in God, He will faithfully lead the right person our way. 

Myth #4) Dating is always necessary.

“Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen” (Ephesians 3:20-21).

There’s nothing impossible with God and He is well able to bring the right person to us without having to date. It’s wise to spend time with someone before entertaining marriage—especially in receiving counsel from mature believers. The Lord knows our spiritual, emotional, and physical makeup as well as our desires. Therefore, He’s is capable of doing beyond what we ask with a pure heart.

Myth #5) Dating is about someone else making me happy.

“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others” (Philippians 2:3-4).

As long as we are more concerned about first meeting our needs and desires in any relationship—we will find failure. The Christian faith is built on serving others more than seeking to be served. Dating will have its ups and downs—times where we will give more than we receive. However, when we’ve disciplined ourselves to look into the interests of others, we will find true joy and peace in the relationship.

Myth #6) Dating reveals a person’s true heart motives.

“The Spirit searches all things, even the deep things of God. For who knows a person’s thoughts except their own spirit within them?” (1 Corinthians 2:10-11).

We must be careful with our presumptions about the person we choose to date. Many of us have our best behaviors out in front, while burying deep within our faults and weaknesses. It’s possible to keep up a façade of religious exterior for a long period of time. It’s necessary for us to spend a great deal of time in prayer, counsel, and reflection before committing ourselves to a relationship.

Dating God’s Way

What’s most important in any dating relationship—is the relationship both parties have with God. There’s one Spirit in every believer and He will lead us into truth when we put our trust in Him at all times. The relationship with Jesus (the time and effort put into it) will have a great deal of positive influence on your dating preferences.

Related Article:  6 Christian Dating Do's and Don'ts

Article by Crystal McDowell

Crystal McDowell is a writer, speaker, and teacher with a passion to encourage believers to know and grow in their relationship with Jesus Christ through practical application of God’s word.  

Crystal and her husband, Marshall, raise their five children in the Bloomington, IL. As a freelance writer and editor for over 13 years, Crystal has published numerous Christian curriculums for Sunday School and VBS as well as many articles dealing with marriage, motherhood, and relationships. She’s a weekly staff writer for www.whatchristianswanttoknow.com as well as writing her own blog at https://crystalmcdowellspeaks.blogspot.com.