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I have learned that my choices sometimes knowingly but often times unknowingly have been bad ones. Because of this I have surrendered my choice of even choosing a man for myself. Please understand that I have no problem being a beautiful adored red rose but when my petals fall to the ground and I know these petals dont return to its stem .... it is the fragrance of my love laying their before you that is all I hope to recieve from much pain. Like a rose that loses petals I have become natural confetti at others feet. I am not bitter but I am being real to my realities. I am being real to the call on my life that will include pain. I wish I could tell you how many times in my mind I rewrapped me as a gift and how many time I celebrated His rescue of me that in many ways is yet to fully come. Yet I say that without complaint because our God has healed me of terminal bone cancer, healed my son who was once in a wheelchair and much more. On behalf of me He has rescued me over and over. As a symbolic display of my fathers heart I wish you could have seen the love and the adoration that was private with no audience! Singing, dancing and praying at the top of my lungs. Filling up on answered prayers that are still yet to be truly answered. How far will this blind faith take me I ask God? Will I run out? Shall I ask now for a fuller measure? The fragrance of my love is for God and and those in whom He chooses for me to love. In the meantime I have resided at this place at His feet. Rose petals ... natural confetti! My husband divorced me in 2005 and we were seperated since 2003 and through my experiences in marriage and now divorce I have learned this... Real strength is proven in a marriage or a friendship by our resiliance and committment to the other in times of great challenge. Love is a choice! But so is faithfullness, loyalty, integrity and believing in truth. In short, even if you have more degrees than a thermometer, more money than a bank vault, better looking than a Hawaiian sunset, or wise to the scriptures and all of its content, if you lack the ability to partner in a storm, a soul mate in time of desolation, you do not have what that relationship needs to sustain itself. So here I quietly type my expressions as a mother and a woman. Here my passions are appropriately expressed. Yet even here I am as guarded and protective of that of which God hides in pocket. A precious diamond that from different angles you will see my childlike, my dreams, my work ethics and much more. Knowing and believing fully that God is my Kinsman Redeemer and you may glean off me and my story for your own circumstances and believing for your own calling! Let me know what it is I can do to help!
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