7 Tips for the Christian on Finding the Love of Your Life

Almost every popular book, movie, or song has a slant about finding the love of your life. But what ever happened to Prince Charming and Cinderella ten years after their wedding? Are the birds still singing? Do they still share the same bedroom?

No one knows how their story ended because movies rarely focus on the longevity of love—just the flirtation and infatuations of it. However, for the Christian finding the love of our lives is more than just the courtship and wedding. We make a covenant between God and ourselves to be bound to each other until death. Therefore the following tips of finding your first love are significant and worth looking at:

Tip #1) Find God first.

“Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things” (Colossians 3:2).

Before getting all geared up in finding your earthly love—find your heavenly love first! God loved you so much that that He sacrificed His one and only Son so that every single person on the earth can have eternal life. When you have found God, you will find in Him everything you need for the rest of your life—marriage, children, work, empty nest, retirement…etc.

Tip #2) Be faithful to your first love. Hint: see Tip #1.

“Yet I hold this against you: You have forsaken the love you had at first” (Revelation 2:4).

There’s a great temptation that once you’ve opened up to finding a true love—that you will forget your first love in Christ. This happens because we are human and fallible to our faults of wanting our emotional and physical needs met first. However, the Lord is on your side and if you would place your complete trust in Him demonstrated by your faithfulness, He will meet all your needs.

Tip #3) Stay grounded in Bible study and fellowship with other believers.

“And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching” (Hebrews 10:24-25).

Some people stop going to church or small group when they’ve started a new relationship. Again, it’s the temptation of being enamored in a relationship. However, it’s God’s will that you continue in your friendships and ministry relationships as you will need advice and accountability in your new relationship.

Tip #4) Look for opportunities to use your spiritual gifts.

“A gift opens the way and ushers the giver into the presence of the great” (Proverbs 18:16).

Many believers have found the love of their life while they were busy about Christ and building the kingdom of God. Being involved in ministry that allows you to use your spiritual gift opens the way for you to possibly meet someone who can work alongside of you. Couples who complement each other with their spiritual gifts are a beautiful asset to the work of God.

Tip #5) Resist the worldly standards of true love.

“Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, love for the Father is not in them” (1 John 2:15).

Many believers have tainted their Christian love relationships with advice, influence, and direction from the world. Believers don’t have to live together first to make sure it will work out nor do they have to be involved in sexual immorality. The Lord knows your needs including the longing for companionship. Take your concerns directly to Jesus in prayer and trust Him to work it out for your good.

Tip #6) Guard your hearts and minds from inner and outer pressure.

“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it” (Proverbs 4:23).

At what age should a person marry? How long do you pray for a spouse? When do I give up? These are questions that can burn within you or be pushed on you from well-meaning family and friends. However what is most important is to be still before God and know that He has your whole life in the palm of His hands. Resist the urge to worry and continue about your Father’s business through prayer and Bible study.

Tip #7) Be open to God’s best choice for you.

“But the Lord said to Samuel, ‘Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart’” (1 Samuel 16:7).

The most popular singers, actors, and musicians are usually physically attractive. The world places a high standard on the outside appearance even if the person is woefully inept and dry in character and morality. However, for the believing man or woman—your choice is to let God lead you to the right person for you. Attraction is normal—you do want to be attracted to the love of your life—yet you don’t want the physical attraction to take precedence over the spiritual or emotional characteristics.

Seek and you will Find…

Finding the love of your life is like finding other things—you should be open to it. Reluctantly getting involved with someone may be a sign that God isn’t calling you into a relationship right now. However, if you find the longing in your heart, be open to the preparation that God will lead you to the right person. Stay true to your first love and He will guide you in the right direction.

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Article by Crystal McDowell

Crystal McDowell is a writer, speaker, and teacher with a passion to encourage believers to know and grow in their relationship with Jesus Christ through practical application of God’s word.  

Crystal and her husband, Marshall, raise their five children in the Bloomington, IL. As a freelance writer and editor for over 13 years, Crystal has published numerous Christian curriculums for Sunday School and VBS as well as many articles dealing with marriage, motherhood, and relationships. She’s a weekly staff writer for www.whatchristianswanttoknow.com as well as writing her own blog at https://crystalmcdowellspeaks.blogspot.com.