5 Ways You Are Actually Ruining Your Child's Life
February 10, 2016

Are You Ruining Your Child's Life?
I came across this article from Crosswalk, 5 Ways You Are Ruining Your Child's Life, and had to share. #3 hit me hard. Comment below and let us know what you think!
“You’re mean!”
“You just don’t understand!”
Have you ever wondered if you are doing a terrible job as a parent? We’ve probably all thought that at one time or another. Parenting is a tough job; often times more art than science. Yet the unpopular parenting decisions you make are most likely contributing to your child’s health, not their detriment.
But there are five parenting traps that many well-intentioned modern parents fall into without even knowing it. These attitudes and behaviors easily go undetected because they are ingrained in the culture around us. Let’s consider five ways we as parents may be unwittingly ruining our child's life:
Credit: ThinkStock1. Amusement as the highest priority. We don’t want our children to be bored or to scream in public places, so we hand over an electronic device to amuse them. As this becomes the norm, your child learns to crave constant amusement and entertainment. Instead of having a special Disneyland experience once every few years, we’re bending over backwards to create those magical moments every day with special outings, fun food, and over-the-top parties for kids. Stop being the cruise director for your child’s life - that’s not your main job description. If your child can’t find something to do without your help or without a screen, they are headed for trouble.
2. Everyone’s a winner. A few years ago when my son was at a basketball camp, their team was matched with a much better team. After about five minutes, they turned the scoreboard off so it wouldn’t read 98:0 (or something like that!). We have done our kids a disservice by giving everyone a “participation trophy.” Life doesn’t work like that. There are winners and losers. Imagine if we stopped keeping score in professional sports. What would be the point of the game? Teach your child that self-worth is not found on the scoreboard but that he/she should always strive to do his/her best. It’s motivating to earn a trophy through sweat, effort and determination. It’s de-motivating to earn a trophy just because you showed up.
3. Feelings trump everything else. The main question these days is “How do you feel about that?” We’ve downplayed the power of the will to do the right thing even when your child doesn’t feel like it. Instead we’ve elevated feelings above all else to our great detriment. Your child may not feel like doing homework or giving grandma a hug as a CNN article wrote about. Yet it’s the right thing to do homework and hug grandmas. Your child should not learn to behave based on feelings. Ask your child “What do you think?” not “How do you feel?”
Credit: ThinkStock4. The Bible and prayer are largely absent from everyday life. Does your child observe you reading your Bible or praying during the day? If they only see evidence of your devotion to God a few Sundays a month for the two hours you’re at church, it isn’t enough. If you want to pass along a vibrant faith in God to your children, you must model it. You must talk about it. You can pray with your child about a struggle at school. Read a Psalm at breakfast. Memorize a verse a week together as a family. Find a person to serve together; maybe you can babysit for a single mom so she can get her shopping done alone for once. Let your children consistently see your faith in action.
5. Your marriage takes a backseat. Focus on your children first and your marriage second, and you will hurt your kids. When your kids need something for school or an activity, you’ll burn the candle at both ends to make it happen. But if your spouse needs something, you tend to think, “Take care of it yourself. I have enough to do around here!” Yet when it’s all said and done, your kids will leave your home someday and probably start their own families. Your relationship with your spouse is the most important bond that needs tending. The greatest gift you can give your kids is a strong marriage. It provides security, love, belonging, strength, and an example to follow in the future.
Which of these snags about 5 ways you may be ruining your child's life hit a nerve for you? As long as your children are living under your roof, you still have time to make positive and vital adjustments. You’re reading this article which says you care about your child and you want to learn how to parent better. Rest assured, as you pursue wisdom, you will not ruin your child’s life.
Arlene Pellicane is a speaker and author of Growing Up Social: Raising Relational Kids in a Screen-Driven World and 31 Days to Becoming a Happy Wife. She has been a guest on the Today Show, Family Life Today, The 700 Club and Turning Point with David Jeremiah. Arlene and her husband James live in San Diego with their three children. Visit Arlene’s website at www.arlenepellicane.com.
We hope you enjoyed reading 5 Ways You May Be Ruining Your Child's Life. Here's another article you may enjoy:
YOU MAY LIKE: This child says SHE HAD THE 'MEANEST MOTHER' in the world!
Credit: Crosswalk
Today's Devotional
A Prayer for Encouragement in the Waiting Season - Your Daily Prayer - July 9
If waiting is you down, let this prayer help you notice the quiet, steady ways God is still blessing you.
Today's Devotional
A Prayer for Encouragement in the Waiting Season - Your Daily Prayer - July 9
If waiting is you down, let this prayer help you notice the quiet, steady ways God is still blessing you.
Past Stories
- She’s Raising Two Sons with a Rare Condition—and Showing Others How They Thrive
- A Neighbor's Call Saves the Life of a Newborn Baby Whose Mom Had Passed Away
- After Months of Paralysis and a Ventilator, Mom Talks to Young Son and Tells Him 'I Love You'
- Shelter Dog Detects a Stranger's Medical Emergency and Becomes a Hero
- Grieving the Loss of Their Daughter, They Chose to Keep Fostering Hope
- Gloria and Bernice, Identical Twins Turn 100, Celebrate Decades of Memories
- Father of Three Dies After Being Struck By Lightning While On Golf Course
- Married 18 Years, Parents of 4 Are Both Diagnosed with Stage 4 Cancer
- He Lost His Wife. She Lost Her Husband. Together, They Found a New Beginning
- She Earned Her Degree, Then Gave Her Dad a Second Chance at Life
- They Were Told Their Pup Had Been Hit By a Car, 4 Years Later They Found Her Alive
- New York Soccer Coach Collapses On the Field, Parents Jump in to Save Him
- Community Gathers to Remember 12-Year-Old Girl Who Died in a Scooter Accident
- After Surviving Family Tragedies, Stroke, and Coma, Teen Walks in Her Graduation Ceremony
- Civilian Stops to Save Woman in a Burning Car, 'It Could Have Been My Mom'
- They Adopted a Baby Boy, Then Extended Extraordinary Grace to His Birth Mother
- Cancer Survivor Shocks Everyone With His 4th Lottery Win
- Brian Wilson, Co-Founder of the Beach Boys, Passes Away at 82
- Vietnam Vet Passes Away, His Mailman Rushes to Adopt His Dog
- 4-Year-Old Called a Hero After Teacher Collapses at Daycare, and She Knows Exactly What to Do
- After 100-Mile Journey, Including a Swim, Missing Golden Retriever Mix is Finally Back Home
- Life Delayed Her Dream, But Didn’t Deny it. At 88, She Became a Graduate, and Witness to God’s Timing
- Gary Sinise Opens Up About His Son’s Death and the Gift of Grandfatherhood
- Young Girl is Saved by Good Samaritan After Falling 15 Feet Into a Waterfall
- Retired Alaska State Trooper Helps Rescue Husband Pinned by 700-lb Boulder
- 9 Year Old Boy Saves Mom and Newborn Sister By Calling 911, 'My Mom Could Have Died'
- Police Escort Paralyzed Teen to Prom Years After Childhood Shooting
- Young Boy in Wheelchair Walks at His Kindergarten Graduation, Surprising His Family
- Woman Credits Her Faith After Tire Flies Through SUV Windshield in Near-Death Crash
- 98-Year-Old Twins Cherish Life, Love, and Faith While Living Next Door to One Another
- Airman Served in WW2, Now He is Finally Coming Home 81 Years After He Died
- Teens Are Heroes After Saving Family From Fire On Their Prom Night
- She Survived 3 Weeks Lost in the Wild, Fighting Off Animals and Snowstorms
- Triplets Graduate From Texas Tech Together, All Earning Degrees in Media and Communication
- She Lost Her Son's Baby Book, But It Was Returned to Her at the Right Moment
- Man and His Dog Reunited After Being Hit by Drunk Driver
- Nurse With Caring Spirit Says Yes to Dying Mother's Wish For Her Son, and It's Beautiful
- She Never Told Her Friends She Was the School Mascot, Then Shares Her Secret at Graduation
- Mom Donates Kidney to Daughter, Now They’re Graduating Nursing School Together
- Grieving Son Finds Kindness When Trying to Print a Photo of His Mother Who Just Passed Away
- Nebraska Mom Raised Concerns About Husband's Mental Health Before Tragic Murder-Suicide
- Brothers Discover 1976 Message in a Bottle, Then Find the Man Who Wrote It
- California High School Discovers They Have 14 Sets of Twins in Their Graduating Class
- Paralyzed Pup Tyrion Finds New Life With a Doggie Wheelchair
- Autistic 8-Year-Old Boy Goes Missing, Found by Water Thanks to Quick Response
- Two Nurses Come to the Rescue of a Teen Girl in the Process of Being Kidnapped
- Brave Man Jumps Into Water to Save Woman After She Was Attacked By Bull Shark
- She Was Going to Miss Prom After Breaking Her Back at a Trampoline Park, the Hospital Had Other Plans
- Mom Finds Hope After Tragedy, Hears Her Daughter’s Heartbeat in a Child Who Got a Second Chance
- 90-Year-Old Cancer Survivor Has Saved Over 10,000 Animals, and She’s Still Not Slowing Down
Top Music Videos

Bill and Gloria Gaither Guy Penrod's Stirring Live Performance of 'Then Came The Morning'

Oak Ridge Boys 'Jesus Is Coming Soon' The Oak Ridge Boys

Kari Jobe Kari Jobe’s Powerful Live ‘Who Else’ Performance

Universal Music Group Pat Barrett Releases Powerful ‘Praise The Lord Forever’ Lyric Video

Oak Ridge Boys 'Because He Lives' Classic Performance From The Oak Ridge Boys
Blog
At GodTube, you’ll find daily inspirational videos to lift your spirits and encourage you in your walk with God. Popular videos include worship music from your favorite Christian artists, cute videos with adorable kids and animals, hilarious videos from Christian comedians, user-uploaded videos, and clean viral videos to brighten your day.