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I seem to always have had a hunger for God. Even if it took me years to find a reality deeper than words. higher than my thoughts could imagine.
I have always been writing and always been singing songs I made up. Since I met God, I dared to make a lifelong dream come true, I decided to stop being a light designer. Since then my life has hab quite a few ups and downs, but I did it, I wrote a book, had it published, trying to talk about what God means to me, what a world I live in, and now the second one, kind of a sequel, is nearly there.
I am tired, I didnÂ´t know writing was such a faszinating and deadly thing to do. My nerves are in no good state and I am quite easily freaked out nowadays by even small unforseen incidents, there have simply been too many....
God has seen me through and I can honestly say that I probably wouldnÃÃÂ´t be alive without him. ThatÂ´s an awesome feeling, that he personally interferes to get me going again. I am still struggeling, I trusted people I probably shouldnÂ´t have trusted, maybe I went the wrong way trying to find out, trying to be a help, I donÂ´t know any more, truth? what is truth asked Pontius Pilate and at times I donÂ´t know any more though of course I do know that Jesus is the truth and the answer to all my questions.
Just many certitudes have faded as others grow, with it grows the delight of making music, writing the lyrics and sharing it some, thatÂ´s my delight, trying to tell of God`s gracious goodness to me. I feel blessed and I am hurt at the same time, I have been searching for God for many years, I had a first grasp of him like 20 years ago and I still want more....
May God bless all who pass by, all who stop to pray or just smile, our God is an awesome God.