blugoestoheaven's Video Channel

I seem to always have had a hunger for God. Even if it took me years to find a reality deeper than words. higher than my thoughts could imagine.<br /> I have always been writing and always been singing songs I made up. Since I met God, I dared to make a lifelong dream come true, I decided to stop being a light designer. Since then my life has hab quite a few ups and downs, but I did it, I wrote a book, had it published, trying to talk about what God means to me, what a world I live in, and now the second one, kind of a sequel, is nearly there. <br /> <br /> I am tired, I didn&Acirc;&acute;t know writing was such a faszinating and deadly thing to do. My nerves are in no good state and I am quite easily freaked out nowadays by even small unforseen incidents, there have simply been too many....<br /> <br /> God has seen me through and I can honestly say that I probably wouldn&Atilde;&Atilde;&Acirc;&acute;t be alive without him. That&Acirc;&acute;s an awesome feeling, that he personally interferes to get me going again. I am still struggeling, I trusted people I probably shouldn&Acirc;&acute;t have trusted, maybe I went the wrong way trying to find out, trying to be a help, I don&Acirc;&acute;t know any more, truth? what is truth asked Pontius Pilate and at times I don&Acirc;&acute;t know any more though of course I do know that Jesus is the truth and the answer to all my questions.<br /> <br /> Just many certitudes have faded as others grow, with it grows the delight of making music, writing the lyrics and sharing it some, that&Acirc;&acute;s my delight, trying to tell of God`s gracious goodness to me. I feel blessed and I am hurt at the same time, I have been searching for God for many years, I had a first grasp of him like 20 years ago and I still want more....<br /> <br /> May God bless all who pass by, all who stop to pray or just smile, our God is an awesome God.