Rebuilding Us: Marriage Podcast

Dana Che

Bad Marriage Advice that's Killing Your Intimacy (Intimacy Series)

August 19, 2025 ● 34 min

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We've all been given some bad marriage advice from well-meaning folks. But what if that bad marriage advice is ruining your intimacy? My guest, Monica Tanner, and I discuss what helpful marriage advice couples should focus on instead. Monica shares wisdom from her upcoming book, Bad Marriage Advice, and how this relates to intimacy. Let's stop the crazy cycle and lean into the hard truths and practical steps needed to create lasting intimacy and connection in marriage.

Key Takeaways:

Bad Marriage Advice (And Why It Backfires):
You'll laugh and commiserate about the terrible marriage clichés we’ve all heard—like "happy wife, happy life," "don’t go to bed angry," and more.
The Power of the Pause:
The wisdom of taking a break during heated moments instead of forcing a late-night resolution.
Intimacy Isn’t Automatic—It’s Cultivated:
Intimacy was not always present in our marriages and has required time, personal growth, and intentionality to develop.
Debunking the “You’ve Changed” Myth:
Change is natural. The key is staying curious and engaged with your partner’s growth rather than resenting natural changes.
From Lazy Communication to Loving Curiosity:
You just have to listen to this one to grab the nuggets
Collaboration Over Compromise:
Using real-life examples, Monica and Dana model what it looks like to approach differences (early bird/night owl dynamics, for instance) with teamwork rather than resentment or forced compromise.

Quotable Moments:

“At the root of all the bad marriage advice is lazy communication.” – Monica Tanner
“There is no greater investment of your time than building a marriage that is healthy and whole.” – Dana Che

Resources Mentioned: