Episode Summary:

If you have ever had marriage struggles or have friends or loved ones who struggle in their marriage, or just want to improve your marriage, then today is the perfect show for you.

In this episode, my guest, Pam Farrel, and I discuss how to thrive, not just survive, in marriage. Relationships are hard, but marriage is on an entirely different level. And sometimes the things we loved about our fiance’ is the same thing that we grow to dislike or resent in marriage. But Pam will discuss how to grow our love for our mate.

Quotables from the episode:

• Sometimes wisdom breeds willingness to change.
• The Farrels encourage a confident covenant, which are rules of engagement during disagreements.
• Don’t be interested in just solving a marital problem, but also fall in love with that person again.
• Men are like waffles, women are like spaghetti.
• Women move from one issue to many different issues, but then tie it all up together, like spaghetti, but men like to keep individual issue in separate boxes, and resolve each box before moving on to another box.
• Men park in their boxes, often not thinking about anything, while women misinterpret their silence.
• In olden days, you pulled together because you had to just to survive. So emotional needs were not high on the list at that point. Today we have a different view of survival and includes “Am I feeling satisfied? Am I feeling peaceful? Am I feeling fulfilled?”
• If our spouse isn’t making us happy, we mistakenly believe someone else out there will.
• We live in a social media driven society, where we only get to see others’ highlights, and people don’t see the real work that has to be done, and how God meets our needs to pull us through.Valentine’s Day is like a double-edge sword.
• For singles and widows, get a plan in place before Valentine’s Day. There are many around you who are feeling the same way.
• Ways to encourage your spouse:
  • Let your spouse you know you admire them.
  • Commend your spouse in front of their friends or colleagues.
  • Warm up to an idea by asking questions for more details of their idea.
  • Let you know you are praying for them.
  • Enthusiastically embrace one of their opinions.
• It only takes one breakthrough. You’re only one breakthrough away from a stronger relationship.
• The last thing we should do when we’re struggling in our relationships is to isolate. We need community and the support of others./

Scripture References:

• Proverbs 19:8 “The one who gets wisdom loves life.”
• 1 John 4:19 “We love each other because he loved us first.”
• Ephesians 4:2-3 “With all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace."

Recommended Resources:

• Men are Like Waffles, Women are Like Spaghetti: Understanding and Delighting in Your Differences by Bill & Pam Farrel
• Discovering Joy in Philippians: A Creative Devotional Study Experience by Pam Farrel, Jean E Jones, and Karla Dornacher 
• Red-Hot Monogamy: Making Your Marriage Sizzle by Bill and Pam Farrel
• Breaking Anxiety’s Grip: How to Reclaim the Peace God Promises by Dr. Michelle Bengtson
• Breaking Anxiety’s Grip Free Study Guide
• Hope Prevails: Insights from a Doctor’s Personal Journey Through Depression by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Reader’s Choice Award
• Hope Prevails Bible Study by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Reader’s Choice Award

Social Media Links for Host and Guest:

 Connect with Pam Farrel:

Facebook / Instagram / Pinterest / Twitter / Website

For more hope, stay connected with Dr. Bengtson at:

Order Book Breaking Anxiety’s Grip / Order Book Hope Prevails  /  Website  /  Blog  /  Facebook / Twitter (@DrMBengtson)  /  LinkedIn  /  Instagram / Pinterest / YouTube

Guest Pam Farrel:

Pam Farrel, with her husband, Bill, are international speakers, and authors of over 50 books including best-selling Men are like Waffles, Women are like Spaghetti.  They are relationship specialists and seek to help people become “Love-Wise.” Pam has experience as a Pastor’s wife and Women’s Ministry Director. Pam is a cheerleader, challenger and coach that believes that "The one who gets wisdom loves life." (Proverbs 19:8) Her new creative Bible studies are Amazon bestsellers: Discovering Hope in the Psalms ; Discovering Joy in Philippians and Discovering Jesus in the Old Testament. When the Farrels are not traveling for speaking, you will find them on their live aboard boat or enjoying their 3 sons, 3 daughters in law and 5 grands.  www.Love-Wise.com

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