A Prayer for When You Feel Unlovable
By Alicia Searl

“We love because he first loved us.” - John 4:19

Ever since I can remember, I have been infatuated with all things romance and sweet love. From cheesy rom-coms to over-the-top love gestures of tight hugs and jumping on my kiddos, covering them with momma smooches. I’ve even been known to strike up a conversation with strangers only to hug them moments later after hearing their “God story!” The amicable and amazing feeling love brings is awe-inspiring because God’s love is evident and everywhere.

But, for whatever reason, I’m just not feeling it today. I’ve lost that loving feeling, so to speak. Maybe it’s hidden in the shadow of grief as my mom’s heavenly anniversary closes in and friends have fallen silent. Perhaps it’s been snuffed out by the wake of hurtful words my teen spewed out this morning, shattering my already bruised heart. Or it could have gotten lost in translation when plans with family changed, then got altogether canceled, and I somehow missed the memo yet again.

For whatever reason, I have come to the place where I feel completely depleted of love and utterly unlovable. Not seen, not known, and in desperate need of a heart transplant. In all honesty, at this point a good ‘ole fashioned rom-com or a hug from my precious people wouldn’t do much good. Sigh.

Do you feel me? If so, then let’s walk down memory lane and open our Bibles to the Gospels of Mark and John. Here, we meet a man who must have felt the sting of rejection, humiliation, and abandonment, even after expressing nothing but heartfelt love.

In the Gospels, we see this beautiful depiction of our beloved Jesus. A sinless and perfect man who was on a mission to make the absolute truth known, with acts of humble service and a heart full of compassion and kindness. Yet, at the end of His life, He was ridiculed, mocked, and chastised (Mark 15:1-4, Mark 15:16-20). Even His closest followers began to walk away, doubting and denying Who He was, going as far as to brutally betray Him (John 6:66-71, John 20:24-29, Mark 14:66, Mark 14:44-46).

Yet, Jesus still chose love. Even in His lowest moment.

As imperfect beings, our love is conditional and easily flows when it is being reciprocated. However, when it is met with hurt of any kind, it can bring our loving actions to a bitter place or a screeching halt. Thankfully, Jesus models for us how to show love even when it’s unbearably hard and we feel unlovable. It all begins by recognizing that real love isn’t defined by how others make us feel, but about the heart of God that declares His love for us, taking shape in the form of a cross!

We love because He first loved us! John 4:19 packs a powerful punch for such a short verse. Yet, when we love like Jesus, we choose to love the challenging neighbor, the wayward child, the grieving friend, and the difficult family member. We love those who are easy to love and those who aren’t so easy to love. We love our friends, and we love our enemies. But we can only do that with the help of our loving God, as He leads and directs us to choose love.

While others may cut off their love supply and leave our love tank empty, leading us to feel unlovable, we must take heart and cling to the cross. Jesus sees your hurt, knows your pain, and truly understands. Let Him love you today and reclaim your priceless worth, whispering to your heart, dear child, you are so very loved!

Let’s pray:

Father God, we come before you with real and raw emotions of a heart that is running on fumes. We feel unlovable and need Your divine mercy and grace. Please forgive us for allowing others to define who we are and to put a price on our value and worth. Help us not bend or sway to the lies this world proclaims over us, and embrace the truth found in Your Word, which reminds us that You are the God of love, and Your love is evident and everywhere! Help us walk with that hope today. We ask this in Your precious name, Jesus. Amen.

Photo credit: ©GettyImages/AntonioGuillem

Alicia Searl is a devotional author, blogger, and speaker that is passionate about pouring out her heart and pointing ladies of all ages back to Jesus. She has an education background and master’s in literacy.  Her favorite people call her Mom, which is why much of her time is spent cheering them on at a softball game or dance class. She is married to her heartthrob (a tall, spiky-haired blond) who can whip up a mean latte. She sips that goodness while writing her heart on a page while her puppy licks her feet. Visit her website at aliciasearl.com and connect with her on Instagram and Facebook.

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