I came to Christ late in life. I spent most of my life living on the edge until one night I took a look at myself and I didn't like what I saw. I was sitting in my living room wondering how to end my life and for a reason unknown to me at the time I turned on the television and it was on a Christian station. The preacher was describing my life, the drugs, the abruse, the lonliness, the desparation, everything I was feeling. He said that I didn't have to end my life. That some special loved me and his name was Jesus. The preacher explained the plan of salvation and what I had to do. I don't remember going down on my knees but I remember praying. When I finished I felt so clean and I wanted all the things that was promised that night.
I wish I could tell you that from that night on everything around me changed. They didn't. Oh, I was changed but I was still living in the same situation. It took years to be free of the chains that were binding me but God is faithful.
There came a day when God put a family in my life that would change me forever. My new sister-in-law invited me to church one day and I fell in love with Jesus. I mean really fell in love. I am now washed in the blood, filled with the Holy Ghost and wanting more everyday. Thank you Jesus for loving the unlovable. Now I just want to serve my Lord and help spread the goodnews.
Here's a poem I wrote several years ago. I think it describes me best.
To Be Excepted
Many years of sorrow, of suffering and pain;
My children have deserted me because of things
that should have never been.
Looking back over my life, I see this little girl;
Just wanted to be excepted, included in the world.
So not to be rejected I did what ever they asked;
Not looking to the future and not caring about the past.
Just going along with their games, not realizing
that one must pay;
Allowing their transgression, all in the name of play.
Only time will tell if anything can be set right;
And hoping my children understand I was weak in every-
ones sight.
Now with my life almost over the course I must take is clear;
I have asked my Lords forgiveness and his guidance throughout my remaining years.