icehockey's Video Channel

&quot;Well, we'll not risk another frontal assault. That rabbit's dynamite.&quot;<br />
King Arthur, &quot;Monty Python and the Holy Grail&quot;<br />
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&quot;And now for something completely different: a man with a tape recorder up his brother's nose.&quot;<br />
Announcer, &quot;Monty Python's Flying Circus&quot;<br />
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[after slicing one of the Black Knight's arms off]<br />
King Arthur: &quot;Now stand aside, worthy adversary.&quot;<br />
Black Knight: &quot;'Tis but a scratch.&quot;<br />
King Arthur: &quot;A scratch? Your arm's off.&quot;<br />
Black Knight: &quot;No it isn't.&quot;<br />
King Arthur: &quot;What's that, then?&quot;<br />
Black Knight: &quot;[after a pause] I've had worse.&quot;<br />
King Arthur: &quot;You liar.&quot;<br />
Black Knight: &quot;Come on ya pansy.&quot;<br />
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[King Arthur has just cut the Black Knight's last leg off]<br />
Black Knight: &quot;Okay, we'll call it a draw.&quot;<br />
King Arthur: [Preparing to leave] &quot;Come, Patsy.&quot;<br />
[King Arthur and Patsy ride off]<br />
Black Knight: [calling after King Arthur] &quot;Oh! Had enough, eh? Come back and take what's coming to you, you yellow! Come back here and take what's coming to you! I'll bite your legs off!&quot;<br />
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Sir Bedevere: &quot;There are ways of telling whether she is a witch.&quot;<br />
Peasant 1: &quot;Are there? Oh well, tell us.&quot;<br />
Sir Bedevere: &quot;Tell me. What do you do with witches?&quot;<br />
Peasant 1: &quot;Burn them.&quot;<br />
Sir Bedevere: &quot;And what do you burn, apart from witches?&quot;<br />
Peasant 1: &quot;More witches.&quot;<br />
Peasant 2: &quot;Wood.&quot;<br />
Sir Bedevere: &quot;Good. Now, why do witches burn?&quot;<br />
Peasant 3: &quot;...because they're made of... wood?&quot;<br />
Sir Bedevere: &quot;Good. So how do you tell whether she is made of wood?&quot;<br />
Peasant 1: &quot;Build a bridge out of her.&quot;<br />
Sir Bedevere: &quot;But can you not also build bridges out of stone?&quot;<br />
Peasant 1: &quot;Oh yeah.&quot;<br />
Sir Bedevere: &quot;Does wood sink in water?&quot;<br />
Peasant 1: &quot;No, no, it floats!... It floats! Throw her into the pond!&quot;<br />
Sir Bedevere: &quot;No, no. What else floats in water?&quot;<br />
Peasant 1: &quot;Bread.&quot;<br />
Peasant 2: &quot;Apples.&quot;<br />
Peasant 3: &quot;Very small rocks.&quot;<br />
Peasant 1: &quot;Cider.&quot;<br />
Peasant 2: &quot;Gravy.&quot;<br />
Peasant 3: &quot;Cherries.&quot;<br />
Peasant 1: &quot;Mud.&quot;<br />
Peasant 2: &quot;Churches.&quot;<br />
Peasant 3: &quot;Lead! Lead!&quot;<br />
King Arthur: &quot;A Duck.&quot;<br />
Sir Bedevere: &quot;...Exactly. So, logically...&quot;<br />
Peasant 1: &quot;If she weighed the same as a duck... she's made of wood.&quot;<br />
Sir Bedevere: &quot;And therefore...&quot;<br />
Peasant 2: &quot;...A witch!&quot;<br />
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King of Swamp Castle: &quot;You only killed the bride's father, you know.&quot;<br />
Sir Lancelot: &quot;Well, I didn't mean to.&quot;<br />
King of Swamp Castle: &quot;Didn't mean to? You put your sword right through his head.&quot;<br />
Sir Lancelot: &quot;Oh dear... is he all right?&quot;