Comedian Hilariously Recounts Terrifying Experience At Florida Theme Parks

One comedian, Marty Simpson, took his family to the theme parks in central Florida for a week, and as he hilariously details, it sounds like they won’t be making a return trip any time soon.

Central Florida is essentially the theme park capital of the world. Of course, Disney World and its four parks – Magic Kingdom, EPCOT, Hollywood Studios and Animal Kingdom – are the main draw to that part of the Sunshine State. But there are also the Universal Studios parks, Busch Gardens and SeaWorld in that same area. Millions of people every year visit those parks, including comedian Marty Simpson and his family.

Instead of one of the most magical and happy experiences of his life, Marty has a different way of referring to his family’s 7-day trip to Disney World and SeaWorld.

“So my 10 and 7 year old were that age when we took them to Disney for the first time,” Marty said. “We took them to Disney and SeaWorld for 7 days. And I refer to these 7 days like it were the 7 days I spent in Vietnam.”

It’s safe to say that he is not a fan of theme parks!

He mentioned that he and his family stayed at one of Disney’s resorts near the parks. He stated that he had to constantly remind his children that they were not the only people staying at the resort. 

But the most hilarious part of his bit about his family’s Florida trip was riding a terrifying roller coaster at SeaWorld. His young daughter, who he calls a “little daredevil,” got him on a roller coaster. Marty, as he hilariously states, has a massive fear of heights.

While on the coaster, to distract himself from the horrible and frightening experience, Marty began reciting the Lord’s Prayer. 

Of course, his daughter wanted to do it again. But he gave her a definitive and straightforward answer: “No.”

Theme parks, with all their fast-paced and huge drops, are not for everybody. Theme parks are not for Marty!

Proverbs 17:22 “A glad heart makes a healthy heart, but a crushed spirit makes the bones dry.”

Source: Dry Bar Comedy

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