John Crist’s Coffee Order Theory Is Hilarious, and Likely Pretty Accurate

John Crist’s coffee order theory is hilarious and likely pretty accurate. The popular comedian believes that what you order at Starbucks, Dunkin’ or any other place where coffee can be ordered reveals a lot about you. Watch the short but hysterical clip to hear John’s thoughts on coffee orders and what they say about us as people.

People love themselves some coffee. Some may even go so far as to say obsessed with and addicted to the popular drink. Many people seem to always have a cup of joe in hand. Much like the cell phone, a cup of coffee is, to a lot of individuals, essentially an extension of their hand at this point. They basically can’t go anywhere without their coffee, and we all know people like that. If not, chances are good that you’re that person.

Now, for many people, their coffee order is incredibly extensive and detailed. It must have a shot of this, a shot of that, a sprinkling of this and don’t you dare forget about the foam topping! But what does our drink order say about us? I’d argue that most people don’t really like coffee at all. Instead, what they really enjoy is all the sweeteners, milk, syrup, sprinkles and foam that go into their diluted, watered-down, coffee-type drink.

In a clip posted on YouTube, John shared his theory about those coffee orders. He states that the level of detail of someone’s coffee order is a strong predictor of their job performance.

“The intricacy of your coffee order in the morning is directly related to how productive you’re going to be,” he said. “I don’t think anyone can contest that. The guys that are doing the most work, and women, are drinking black coffee.”

Later in the clip, he explains why he believes that the simpler the coffee, the more productive the person.

“A coffee is a means to, on the way to the main thing,” he said. “If you’re going to get coffee, and that’s the end, then what is in the coffee is the most important part of your day. But if you’re, like, ‘Dude, we’re on the way to the job site. Give me a Black coffee because I can work harder.’”

1 Corinthians 10:31 “So then, if it is a question of food or drink, or any other thing, whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.”