Reframed: The Power of Perspective

Reframed: The Power of Perspective

Carley Marcouillier

Why Do We Argue? Exploring the Root of Relational Conflict and Healthy Communication

May 19, 2021   ●   24 min

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If there is one thing I know we all have in common, it is that we have all experienced relational conflict. Regardless of age, race, gender, religion, our common frame of interpersonal conflict connects us. We are all people who have problems.

In most cases, our interpersonal patterns have roots in our family of origin. Our upbringing largely and early experiences significantly impact how we perceive and pursue all other relationships. One way we can begin to explore these patterns is by identifying the roles and rules assigned to us within our families and how they impact our relational and emotional functioning. Within our family system framework, we learn how to communicate, handle stress, cope with strong emotions, and solve conflicts.

Reflection Questions that I unpack in this episode:
1. Rules: What were the unspoken rules you lived by in your family of origin?
2. Roles: What was the role(s) you took on in your family of origin?

There are 3 overarching areas of our interpersonal relationships that are impacted by our family of origin or our experiences. Carley breaks each of these down:


… and explains how we can reframe these, using skills and practices found in Scripture, and can begin repairing our relational hurts and renew our outlook on the people around us.

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Episode Image Credit: Getty/Ponomariova_Maria
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