TESTIMONY OF TEARS! I am a former Police Detective AND a former Prison Inmate. It will take a book to explain, so make sure you get it when it comes out!
I was responsible for a tragic car accident that took the life of a dear christian woman, my same age (39), and left me broken from head to toe in an ICU comma for over 2 months. During that comma my spirit was elsewhere with a guardian that showed and told me many wonderful things...I remember that I did not want to return to the body, however I was told that there was a purpose and calling left undone that apparently only I could fulfill.
When I awoke in my body, I was on life support, tied down, mouth wired shut,70 lbs lighter (weighing in the 90's)and unable to speak. Just a few months later I was sent to prison for over 7 years unable to walk, with metal plates screwed to my bones from face to foot. Nearly 3 years later the Medical College of Virginia put a titanium hip in so I could learn to walk again. While still handicapped I was attacked a few times by those who knew I was a cop, and was often kept in solitary confinement or protective custody which is more isolated and lonely. If I had chosen to be moved to another state where I was not known I would have lost the bond with my 3 young kids...
It was the thugs and drug dealers from Portsmouth (one of the 3 dept's I served with during that career) that ended up protecting me and making it possible for me to live without fear in the Virginia prison population. Being an honest and caring cop those years paid off!
After serving with Portsmouth PD, I spent a few years with the metro police force of Nashville, where my (then) wife and I moved for her to be developed by Star Song Records as a new christian artist, after she had won a national talent competition in Colorado. In those years, we got to know and worship with many of the top names in contemporary christian music at a great church in Franklin, TN, called Christ Community Church. Scotty Smith was our pastor as well the pastor for Steven Curtis Chapman, Amy Grant, Michael W. Smith, Steve Green, DC Talk, Michael Card, Phil Keaggy (MY hero!) and many, many others. It was a quiet and wonderful little church. Michelle was hired to be the worship leader there and instead of being a christian artist herself as we hoped, she ministered to the christian artists on their Sundays home!
The accident happened not long after we left Nashville and returned to Virginia as a separated and broken family.
(fast forwarding)..I came home from prison last year and several months after that my Mom died with cancer. Although I still live separately from my kids and have had a tougher time than I thought to get work and restablished again I have had to consciously remind myself of the one thing that I know for sure...I have a purpose here!
Through it all I have come to KNOW that I KNOW, GOD IS DEEPLY IN LOVE WITH EACH ONE OF US AS INDIVIDUALS. Every little thought that flickers thru your mind is important and known to the One Who made you. There is no coincidence in any life crossing or event. Meaning abounds everywhere and NO act or word is unnoticed or without impact - trust that! My wish is that you could know this like I know it and live each moment, in the forever NOW, with the passion of compassion and the assurance of unbounded Love.
So now...I live in the wonder years every day..I look to bring love to all the wrong places! I am changing the world one act at a time for Heavens sake - and thru those acts I am changed, too...getting ever closer to the great mystery and the Heart of creation that is far beyond any possible description!