sold2him's Blog

I went to Mexico during Spring Break, for an Outreach Program. And I have to say that I have never had so much fun in my life, or been so close to God. It was amazing!!!!!!! I could go on for hours about all of the wonderful things that went on while down there, but sadly I do not have the time. But one thing did happen down there, that I would love to share with everyone.On Easter Sunday, me and the rest of my team were praying over the people in the church down there. And then the Pastor came over to me, and wanted me to follow him, I thought that he wanted me to pray over someone, but instead he started praying over me. And at first I was thinking that this is really neat, but I didn't really think that I personally needed to be prayed over. But the second that Pastor laid hands on me I immediaely felt the presence of God in a way that I never have before. And he starte praying these wonderful, encouraging things to me, and being a girl I of course immediately started to cry. But the only thing I remember the Pastor saying to me was this question that he asked me, and I will probably remember it for the rest of my life. And I went something like this, "Do you believe that God couldn't love someone who was doing work for his kingdom?" At first I was very confused, but then once what he was saying sunk in, I really started to cry. He had just confronted an issue that I had been struggling with for a very long time, and I wasn't even aware of it!!! Wow. You see for the last 5 months or so I had been feeling this rift between me and God, and I thought that it was just due to stress, worries, and so on, because I have been dealing a lot with those lately. And I had finally gotten rid of those, so I figured life was good. But, you see that wasn't what was causing the rift between me and God, granted it had been causing a little of it. But what was causing it was the fact that I didn't believe God loved me. Of course I knew he loved me, I have known that since I was born, but I didn't BELIEVE it. And there is a huge difference between knowing something and believing it. Trust me. You see I have a huge self-esteem issue, majorly, and I don't believe anyone could ever love me, like real, real love. I don't feel like I will ever get a boyfriend or husband, but I realized that day I really didn't believe God loved me. I mean why would he??? I am not the skinniest, prettiest, funniest, most popular, or most spiritual. But those things DO NOT MATTER to God. And they shouldn't matter ro me either. It is what is on the inside that counts, and I have come to realize that, and I now am able to focus much less on the outside and much more on the inside. And I keep getting better and better at that. And I have never been such a strong Christian, or so close to God. And GOD LOVES ME, even though I am not perfect, and never will be. HE STILL LOVES ME!!!!!!!!! Amen.

I am not exactly sure if this qualifies as a blog, but I needed somewhere to put it, so I am putting it here. Over Easter Break, fron March 21 to the 28 I will be in Mexico with a group from my church. We will be doing two VBS's, construction work, and whatever else is needed. I am not even sure if anybody will be reading this, but if you will be, I would immensely appreciate your prayers. I am terrified about going, even though I am dying to go. I am just scared that I will mess up, or not be capable of doing what is required of me. So, your prayers, or words of encouragement would be very welcome. Thanks : )))

I was feeling kinda bored and I felt like it would be a really great to start a blog or something. And I really felt the issue on my heart to write about the daily struggles that I and I am sure many other Christian teenagers face, when are literally plopped into a very, very, very secular world. I started high school this year, and wow talk about a shock!!!! I have gone to public school my whole life, so I thought I would be prepared for high school life. Butt no, I was kinda of wrong, actually way wrong. I mean every other world out of most people's mouths is a cuss word. I am one of those goody-two-shoes who does not believe in cussing. I am sorry if that offends someone reading this, but that is how I feel. And some of the purverted, vulgar, disgusting things that people say to me and others is disgusting. (Especially the guys--no offense, again) It is corrupting my mind and many times I just cover my ears and tell the people that I am too young and innocence to listen to all of this. That sounds really lame and stupid, but it works. The things that I have to go through everyday at school is just plain terrible. And I always feel like I am the only one whoever has these feelings of being like the only Christian around in your school. So if there is any other Christian teeenagers out there who always, well at least most of the time feel like they are all alone in there Christian public school walk, and are not sure what to do, pleae tell me. And maybe we can encourage each other. And who knows we could even all rise up together and make a difference. Hey, you never know??? : )))))