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I'm 41 years old. For 25 of those 41 years I ran from Gods calling. December,21 of 2004 I had a life changing experience that opened doors to change.Those 25 years I was in the world shackled by sin. I was raised Catholic, alter boy, active in church youth group as a teenager. At a young age I also started experimenting with alcohol, you see someting was missing in my life, I went through the motions of church and religion. but I could'nt quite grasp a relationship with the Lord. I continued this way after high school I felt a tug at my heart, but I had experienced the party life and did'nt have room for God, sure when things got rough I would pray that all famous prayer: " God if you get me through this I promise I'll change." I did but only for a litle while and I would be right back where I was before. over the years alcohol use escalated to drug use marijuanna to cocaine, then to meth. once it escalated to meth that was the demon that almost took my life. In 25 years I managed to add up guilt, shame, bitterness,And hatred. I trusted no one and no one trusted me. There were periods in my life when where was brief sobriety and I would be back going through the motions of church but instead of letting God work in my life I would take over and be back in same mess. December 21 of 2004 My whole world came crashing downd aroud me. Using meth hard for 5 years with my wife of 5 years took its toll.I was fincially, spiritually, and emotionally bankrupt everything was gone. I made a decision to walk away from the life I was living. My wife stayed behind I have'nt seen her since then. I knew that moment I made that decision that God Was showing me his love and mercy in a big way. I left Ruidoso NM and headed South to Texas I started this Journey with only the clothes I was wearing and 3/4 of a tank of gas in my vehicle I stopped between Ruidoso and the Mescelaro Indian Reservation it a literal crossroad which held powerful symbolisim to where I was in my life at the time I broke down and prayed and cried and this time the prayer was sincere. I said "Lord for so many years I have been running my own life not letting you in, not letting you come close, I've ignored your calling Lord for so long. I can't any more. your in control now lead me where you want me. at that moment there was clarity in my life and God sopoke to me to go forward in faith and dont turn back. I listened I made my way to San Antonio Texas. The whole Journey restoring my faith, and showing me its ok to trust. 3 days of running out of Gas Food no money but He provided every mile of the way to this day. I have completely given my life to Christ and accepted God as my Lord and savior and he as Blessed me with all my needs Being met.I have a wonderful church I've recently found. I have a good job, I'm back in college after 20 years of being away. I have been blessed more than I deserve. God is first in my life today. If you've just discovered this website its no accident. if you've stumbled across my profile its no accident. If your struggling in your life God wants you to know that if you seek him you will find comfort. He will rescue you from anything you going through. My prayers are with you my friend. God Bless
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