notofthisworldc28's Video Channel

Let's see...what is there to say??? My name is Kristen, I'm 26 years old. I am currently living in Kentucky, but I am originally from California. I have two beautiful little girl's...Hannah Grace is 3 years old and MaKayla Faith is a year old. I love them dearly!!! But more than anything...God is above "everything" in my life. Jesus Christ is the love of my life and nothing or no one can ever change that!!! I've been through a lot in life....from depression, anxiety, obsessive compulsive disorder, self-harm, anorexia and bulimia, rape, abuse, a broken marriage, abusive and unhealthy relationship's, drug addiction, drug overdoses, etc... needless to say... I SHOULD NOT be alive today, and I DO NOT deserve to be!!! But ONLY by the "grace of God" I am. The trial's that I went through were not easy and caused a lot of pain, anger, hurt and heartbreak. But nothing that Jesus Christ couldn't heal. I still have scars, I still have the memories. It still hurts really bad sometimes to think about it all. But it gets easier as the day's go on and as I keep my eye's on God. I am forgiven, I've forgiven those that have hurt me and because of that...through Jesus Christ...I am free to live again and I'm no longer in bondage to my past, the pain of it all, or the addictions that surfaced from it. 2nd Corinthians 5:17 says..."Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old thing's have passed away; behold, ALL things have become new." Because of that....though Christ Jesus I am healed, I have victory and I am FREE to live again without the burden's, the shame and the guilt from yesterday tormenting and haunting me, without being labeled by my problem's. My identity isn't in the "diagnoses" the doctor's gave me, or in the past that I lived. My identity is in Jesus Christ!!! That doesn't mean I don't struggle, I do, as long as I'm alive I'll have struggles just like anyone else. The only difference is....I now "choose" not to let those struggles control me or define me and I don't have to go through the battle alone because God is on my side. I refuse to be a puppet to the "puppet master of misery"(Satan). I refuse to give up and stop trying. I fight and I keep fighting and I will fight until the day I die!!! That's just life! But with God... nothing is too hard and He doesn't give me more than I am able to handle. John 10:10 says..."The thief (Satan) does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I (Jesus) have come that they may have life, and that they (you and I) may have it more abundantly." I'm DONE letting Satan steal the life and the person God has created me and is calling me to be. I'm done living my life selfishly because this life isn't just about "me". So if everything that I went through is what it took to get me to that realization, and if I can use what I went through to help others and glorify God...then every bit of it was worth it and I wouldn't change it for the world!!! Jeremiah 29:11 says... "For I know the thoughts that I think towards you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope." I stand on that promise everyday now. I don't know what God has in store for me, but I do know that His plan for my life is way better than what I was living or tried to plan myself. So I'm going to have my trials...I'm going through some now, but "you gotta go through the valley's before you reach the mountain top." And more than anything I won't let those trials "make me or break me". God made me and He knows "me" better than I even know myself. Therefore... what better thing to do than to put my trust and life in the hand's of my very CREATOR...my loving God....who I cry "Abba Father." Ok, so I really didn't mean for my "About Me" section to be my testimony(this is only a small fraction of it) but hey....if my only purpose in life is to help and encourage others and to let them know that Jesus loves them and has a plan and purpose for them too, then I'm completely content and happy with that. And well, frankly...it all boils down to this.... "if God can change someone as hard headed, broken, torn and as stubborn as me......then He can defiantly do it for you too!!! Never EVER give up hope!!! As long as you have air to breathe and a heart that beats....there is hope...you "can" change, you "can" have peace and joy, you "can" be healed!!! The thing is...you also have to want it, and you have to be willing to let go of all the junk in your life that is holding you back, be willing to do what it takes to get it and to let go of yourself and "completely" surrender to God. But I promise.....it's more amazing than you could ever imagine. There is a place in your heart that only God can fill, a void that only He can satisfy. Empty out whatever temporary things you have filled it with or should I say "TRIED" to fill it with....empty it ALL out, ask Jesus Christ to fill it instead, then watch the miracles begin to happen. God hasn't called you to put your trust and faith in Him just to let you down. He is a loving God that loves you "unconditionally" and all He wants is for you to love and believe in Him the same way He does you. Then you gotta believe in "yourself" too!!! So that is all I'll say for now. Anything else you would like to know....then ask me and If I can, I will be blessed to tell you. God Bless!!!