Seasons of GriefAre you going through a season of grief where you are struggling to grieve?
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- Joined: October 01, 2010
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I am so happy where I am in the body of Christ for the first time in my life. For years I've called myself a Christian, without living the life of a Christian. I was a hypocrite. I didn't really know what it meant to be a christian. God has always been in my life. God has brought my family and I through so many difficult situations. About 6 months ago, I found myself in a very dark place. I was in a depression, crying everyday. I was dealing with a very unhealthy relationship, and I was unemployed and couldn't find work. I was depending solely on my family, and having a difficult time paying for school. I wasn't happy with what kind of life I was living, and anytime I did anything that didn't line up with the word of God, I felt convicted. I am a member of World Changers Church International in Atlanta, Ga, and at that time, I attended very sparsely. However one thing I always did was pay my tithes, and I would do it online, since I wasn't going to service. One day, when I was deeply depressed, I got a letter in the mail from Pastor Creflo Dollar, it was a receipt for my tithe, but also there was a letter. It said that you should believe God for everything that you want in your life. Then it said write down everything that you would like to see happen in your life. I took advantage of that. While in tears, I wrote down every single thing that I was going through and what I wanted for my life. A week Later I received Dr. Creflo Dollar's book 8 steps to create the life you want. This book taught me so much, and because of the book, I actually opened my bible!!! That was something I never did unless I was in church. The book talks a lot about meditating on Gods word. One day in church, I heard Pastor Dollar say, "How can you know what God says, unless you read his word", And though it seems simple, something just clicked. I try to fill my spirit with what God says, and I have a goal to read the entire bible, and Ive actually discovered that it really is a good book!! There are so many great stories. I have never been happier in my life. One of my lifelong dreams was to work in the music industry. I've had dreams of working with the top artists in the world. God has had a big impact in my lifes dream. For years I would hear at church, that God gives us or talents for his glory, not ours. I rejected that for a long time. Initially, when I rededicated my life, I figured that I would just work in music, but know I know that God gave that dream, so that I could use it to spread the gospel. That is now what I am aiming to do. My life has made a complete 180. I ended that unhealthy relationship. I could not be farther from depression, I experience joy everyday. There is no longer a conflict inside of me because of the way I live, and I have a job that pays more than I have ever made, even better is I choose my own hours, and I essentially work for myself. I have things that I am continuing to work on. But I know that God is here, and im never going back.