Today, I have been so overwhelmed with so many mixed emotions! I feel almost as if God is punishing me.. I don't understand why God would take Lilly from me and give a baby to my 18, unwed sister.. I don't understand. I'm trying so hard to find the reason behind everything but I cant! I had to work today and my boss sent me home because I couldn't stop crying. I have to keep reminding myself that I'm a mother, its just hard when you don't feel like one. Why?
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