March 17th, 2008
March 17th, 2008
Written by goldiegrace007
Posted on Monday, March 17, 2008 at 09:30 PM.
Soooooo here I was living in my nice clean new home....things weren't all settled yet...the court hearing for the divorce and custody was upcoming...I was 7 month pregnant and I wanted desperately to save my marriage, I was hanging on by a thread, emotionally...I wanted my daughter Brianna to see only a happy mom and find peace in the new home...but when she went to her friends home, I went to the church down the road...the paster there, knew my family...and I felt like I could open up to them...well..to tell a paster your husband is cheating on you and you want counselling to try to save the marriage, but when time after time, my husband never showed and cancelled, it was evident that, I needed to get a divorce and wanted to have the paster write a letter showing that I tried to save the marriage and describe how he viewed the situation....well the paster said...I only know one side sooo I can't write a letter for you...
Well...then I was soooo disappointed...I began taking my daughter to another local church but farther away.. ....and they were praying that God would bring justice to this situation, they prayed that my husbands charming spirit wouldn't enter the court room and that peace and safety would prevail....
You'll never believe this....now....get this.....God stepped in, in this case too.....ooooooohhh my gosh....it's just unheard of in my books, till of course this happened to me....
I"m going to a different church and who should call me late one evening....the pastors wife from the church I originally seeked counselling from.....it just turns out, the woman who my husband was having an affair with, was a christian lady from a totally different church from a different city...she couldn't go to her own paster for prayer, lets just say things weren't going well for her with my husband and she wanted prayer for healing and for him to be set free because she was in love with him....and where did she go...to the small hicktown church out of the way, to the paster that didn't believe me that things didn't go well with me in the marriage, plus the affair....she went to him...to ask for prayer and when he asked her what his name was.....ooooooooooohhhh my gosh....truth was shone like a light and the paster called, vaguely saying what I had said was confirmed and he would write a letter for me to take to court....aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh
just breath....who would of thunk it...I didn't deserve to have the truth shone....I made my bed....God was gracious and showed me I could trust Him. It was a journey...step by step...I truste more and more...but...court was yet to come....and that's a big BUT
GOD'S AGAINST DIVORCE'S.....my parents are going to disown me....I"m surely not going to have favor in court, I have children, they need their father...what am I doing...why is the church praying for me..how can they believe I deserve to find favor with the judge?
They prayed that my husbands charming spirit and believe me it was charming....couldn't get into the courtroom....ahhhhhh if you could just feel what I"m feeling 13 years later..it still takes my breath away....
My ex could look like a model.....he could talk like a smooth operator....oooohhh he had the moves....and I was scare out of my wits....my confidence was completely shattered...I didn't know who I was....I was shakey...I was sad...I was broken...I felt worthless, useless and completely clueless about how I was going to make it through court....the lawyer had little faith in me....he said as much...you don't have any pictures, anyones testimony....I could have asked my co workers who'd taken pictures of my bruises to come and speak on my behalf...but I was too worried about inconveniencing them and bringing them into this stressful situation...it was my problem...I would face it alone....The lawyer said the most we can hope for is to get joint custody and get the divorce finalized....
Well.......the lawyer said, no crying allowed, no emotions showed,no pee breaks, just answer the judges questions and mine and we'll see what happens....
I was 8 months or so pregnant...I had a watermelon tummy and I can only say....I was timid like a mouse, scared and nervous and I'm not a public speaker...never was....never could.....but what I can fully say will all confidence.....the court hearing went through....my ex's charming spirit never came in..let's leave it at that....and i spoke the truth, without bursting into tears, without needing to pee, without sounding nervous....I was given full custody, I was awarded child support that with which I didn't even ask for... I was given a restraining order and I walked out of there....the lawyer in shock...my friend from elementary school had come...she was an atheist...and she said....there must be something about that God of yours....the lawyer agreed.....someone was looking out for me and my kids.....
I went home to my castle....exuberiant, bittersweetly exstatic....this chapter was closing....now onto the start of my new life...facing the birth of my second daughter, who when i went into labour.......and when she was stuck inside me and suppose to come out...she couldn't....she was stuck and as the doctor said..."I don't know where else to cut...the babies heartbeat stopped, she wasn't breathing and the nurse said cut here and the baby came out not breathing and purple and fear griped my heart...what's happening....her cord was wrapped around her neck 4 times and they rescictated her and she was fine...(I can't spell) (sorry)....
Meagan was my sunshine baby....she was my gift from God....for the record, both my daughter were my gift from God, but Meagan...slept for 10 hours from the moment she came out of me.....Being a single parent was going to be interesting, but hey, when God has your back, that baby isn't going to give you any problems...nope....slept soooo well....it was increbible....
Sooooo as it goes......things don't end there....and shucks...my youngest is now 8 weeks and my eldest 24 months....they come down with vomitting....I think it's the flu....it's sunday night and toddler is vomitting every few hours....both children are having a fever of 104...i"m giving gravel and tylenol and nursing and giving bottles and giving baths and changing cloths on forheads....I don't know what's happening....my children never get sick....the tyelnol would bring the temp down some but now all...and it was the wee morning when i was weary beyond belief and told my toddler, it's just a couple hours more before I take you guys to the doctor....gave them both gravel and tylenol and said to my toddler....come on honey...lets all lay on the couch together...Meagan, Brianna and mommy....I feel sooooo tired...I've put on an alarm and we'll just take a wee nap....
NOw....I"m just waking up from the nap and my children are still on top of me...they just wake up and I go to put them down to go the the fridge to get something to drink, i'm soooo parched...my tongues dry...I fall down...I can't walk...I'm too weak....what's happening...what day is this? I went to sleep monday wee hours and low and behold...the t.v. was saying its wednesday morning...this can't be...oooooohhh God....I'm scared...I crawl to the kitchen to get the milk and make it back to the living room to give my toddler her bottle that I didn't even warm, I force myself to drink cuz I have to nurse my daughter....I give her a bottle too...and then I get the phone and tell my friend from church what happened and ask her to come get us to take us to the doctor...who confirms we all have strep throat....I was amazed again that my friend brought all her children in the car, when we were sooo sick and I had not asked her to cuz I was afraid that her children would catch it...she said she wasn't fearful and that God would protect her.....she also blessed me with groceries and drove me home...I was sooooo happy we were alive...we were going to make it....now how about my laundry....yikes a stomach flu.....how was i going to have the strength to take my laundry to the laundry room? I prayed Lord, could you please put it on my neighbors hearts that someone could come to my door and offer to do my laundry....was that too much to ask?
Well...I think telling my testimoney doesn't show that I'm a pretty private person, and I don't let people know when I need something....and I don't think my home was set up in a way that showed I was needy.....God answered prayers left and right and I had everything i wanted sooo I thought...and who should phone me...this day that i was weak and needing help big time.....
A lady at church that I had seen around but didn't know.....she called and said, I'm wondering if you could use a washer and a dryer? WHAT? I thought, pardon me...I said..."people just don't give away washers and dryers...what is this.....I don't really.....well......hmmmmm yes.....I do really need a washer and a dryer....and wow....I had it the very next day.....can you believe it.....the very next day....my Father wanted the best for us.....he wasn't just going to provide help, but the means to do it all the time with great ease......
I have to go soon, there's more....but i just want to say one more thing tonight.....
There was this elderly man, I always ran into on the bridge going over the river by my home....he was pushing a shopping cart full of collected bottles and I'd be pushing my double long stroller, filled to the brim with groceries, toys for the babies, diaper bags, blankets....you name it....anyways...he always pass me and mention....you poor dear pushing such a heavy load.....and I would always say....naaaaaaaaaahhhhhh no way...I'm not pushing....God is....I'm just steering....I would see this elderly man sifting through our dumpster and I would think...one day I'm going to bake him some cinnamon buns or cookies or something.....
Well it was christmas and I had gone all out wanting to give my children the best ever christmas, filled with friends and feasts and presents galore, a tree and all the fixings.....and when Meagan was 2 I did...Ooooohhh it was just supreme! But obviously I wasn't thinking about Meagan's birthday on december 31, cuz the day before....the 31st..I look in the cupboards...trying to plan a cake and realize yikes...there's just nothing left...the fridge is bare and oooooohhh my gosh how stupid can I get....? I pray to God and ask forgiveness for my stupidity and ask Him to please bless me with a babysitting job that'll at least pay $20........hee hee........ooohhh my gosh.....my friend calls and says do you want to go to superstore later(the real canadian superstore, grocery chain, plus toiletries and clothing and household stuff, toys and pretty much everything you need for a 3 year olds party).....I think to myself...hey...I may get a babysitting job, I may have $20 to shop with or we may just go for the ride, to get out and be with friends...(superstore doesn't do testers) I say sure we'll come....
well let me back track a moment, you know that elderly man, Bill....let me say this....we ran into each other on the bridge weeks earlier and he asked me what nationality I was.....I told him I was first generation Canadian from a German heritage....He got serious very quickly and told me in a pained voice that it was the Germans that killed all his family...everyone of them....Ooooooohhh my gosh, my heart went out to him....I told him that, I'm really sorry, but even Germans suffered atrocities under Hitler....my grandmother was put in a concentration camp and tortured and beaten...because they thought she was a spy....my grandfather who was a police officer left the country before the war,(he didn't want to fight) to make a new home for my grandmother and mom.....he left to Canada....my grandmother ended up escaping, a jewish priest helped her escape, he loved my grandmother....well to the day she dead, she was always fearful and panic'y that the germans would one day find her...I said I didn't have a real grandma like most kids, cuz she was totally tormented by what she'd lived through....I left Bill thinking for sure things wouldn't be the same...he was still hurting....what could I do....?
Back to this morning, day before Meagan's third birthday...who should be at my door...but Bill the elderly man who collects bottles and seems sooo poor and maybe hates me now cuz I"m german......yikes....I hesitantly open my door and Bill says...I want you to meet my wife....we have something to give you could we come in, she's in the car, I'll get her and I say sure, I'll put on some tea and I think to myself...ooohhh gosh I hope they don't need lots of sugar or milk... I haven't got a lot....sooo they come in and they are a sweet elderly couple....we talk about families and they start telling me about they're dreams...and how...they are dreaming of me and the fact that I don't have a visible family taking care of me....they offer to help me whenever I need it and before the water is boiling for the tea...they hand me this very small envelope...and I was dearly reminded of my grandmother who was an artist and she would every so ofter give me these small envelopes with pictures in it....They said they had to leave and hoped that whatever was in the envelope would be an answer to prayers...I opened it and inside was $300..aaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh what's happening.....? I don't get this....I'm not poor I tell them...heck look around you...I have everything I need.....I don't need this money.....I can't take it..you are much poorer than I......His wife says...we are old...we need our sleep....God put it on our hearts to give this to you...be kind to us...now we can sleep....you need it...the Lord told us....my mouth hung open....I cried...hadn't I just prayed for a babysitting job for $20...what am I suppose to do....I can't take this....they said look outside we have a mini van, our house is paid...my husband bill, collects bottles to avoid waste and get exercise...he uses the money to bless people that need it....well...I ended up accepting the money and being blessed to pieces, blessed out of my mind....who would be soooo nice.....who would listen to God and do such a thing...I ended up buying groceries for the week, making a party for Meagan, with balloons and cake,presents and friend, goody bags....Ooooooooooohhh the Lord is Awesome....ask and ye shall recieve, pressed down and shaken together....tomorrow I'm working 12 hours...sooo I won't be able to update this again till march 19th wednesday...there's more....yup....more....can you believe it..
Well...then I was soooo disappointed...I began taking my daughter to another local church but farther away.. ....and they were praying that God would bring justice to this situation, they prayed that my husbands charming spirit wouldn't enter the court room and that peace and safety would prevail....
You'll never believe this....now....get this.....God stepped in, in this case too.....ooooooohhh my gosh....it's just unheard of in my books, till of course this happened to me....
I"m going to a different church and who should call me late one evening....the pastors wife from the church I originally seeked counselling from.....it just turns out, the woman who my husband was having an affair with, was a christian lady from a totally different church from a different city...she couldn't go to her own paster for prayer, lets just say things weren't going well for her with my husband and she wanted prayer for healing and for him to be set free because she was in love with him....and where did she go...to the small hicktown church out of the way, to the paster that didn't believe me that things didn't go well with me in the marriage, plus the affair....she went to him...to ask for prayer and when he asked her what his name was.....ooooooooooohhhh my gosh....truth was shone like a light and the paster called, vaguely saying what I had said was confirmed and he would write a letter for me to take to court....aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh
just breath....who would of thunk it...I didn't deserve to have the truth shone....I made my bed....God was gracious and showed me I could trust Him. It was a journey...step by step...I truste more and more...but...court was yet to come....and that's a big BUT
GOD'S AGAINST DIVORCE'S.....my parents are going to disown me....I"m surely not going to have favor in court, I have children, they need their father...what am I doing...why is the church praying for me..how can they believe I deserve to find favor with the judge?
They prayed that my husbands charming spirit and believe me it was charming....couldn't get into the courtroom....ahhhhhh if you could just feel what I"m feeling 13 years later..it still takes my breath away....
My ex could look like a model.....he could talk like a smooth operator....oooohhh he had the moves....and I was scare out of my wits....my confidence was completely shattered...I didn't know who I was....I was shakey...I was sad...I was broken...I felt worthless, useless and completely clueless about how I was going to make it through court....the lawyer had little faith in me....he said as much...you don't have any pictures, anyones testimony....I could have asked my co workers who'd taken pictures of my bruises to come and speak on my behalf...but I was too worried about inconveniencing them and bringing them into this stressful situation...it was my problem...I would face it alone....The lawyer said the most we can hope for is to get joint custody and get the divorce finalized....
Well.......the lawyer said, no crying allowed, no emotions showed,no pee breaks, just answer the judges questions and mine and we'll see what happens....
I was 8 months or so pregnant...I had a watermelon tummy and I can only say....I was timid like a mouse, scared and nervous and I'm not a public speaker...never was....never could.....but what I can fully say will all confidence.....the court hearing went through....my ex's charming spirit never came in..let's leave it at that....and i spoke the truth, without bursting into tears, without needing to pee, without sounding nervous....I was given full custody, I was awarded child support that with which I didn't even ask for... I was given a restraining order and I walked out of there....the lawyer in shock...my friend from elementary school had come...she was an atheist...and she said....there must be something about that God of yours....the lawyer agreed.....someone was looking out for me and my kids.....
I went home to my castle....exuberiant, bittersweetly exstatic....this chapter was closing....now onto the start of my new life...facing the birth of my second daughter, who when i went into labour.......and when she was stuck inside me and suppose to come out...she couldn't....she was stuck and as the doctor said..."I don't know where else to cut...the babies heartbeat stopped, she wasn't breathing and the nurse said cut here and the baby came out not breathing and purple and fear griped my heart...what's happening....her cord was wrapped around her neck 4 times and they rescictated her and she was fine...(I can't spell) (sorry)....
Meagan was my sunshine baby....she was my gift from God....for the record, both my daughter were my gift from God, but Meagan...slept for 10 hours from the moment she came out of me.....Being a single parent was going to be interesting, but hey, when God has your back, that baby isn't going to give you any problems...nope....slept soooo well....it was increbible....
Sooooo as it goes......things don't end there....and shucks...my youngest is now 8 weeks and my eldest 24 months....they come down with vomitting....I think it's the flu....it's sunday night and toddler is vomitting every few hours....both children are having a fever of 104...i"m giving gravel and tylenol and nursing and giving bottles and giving baths and changing cloths on forheads....I don't know what's happening....my children never get sick....the tyelnol would bring the temp down some but now all...and it was the wee morning when i was weary beyond belief and told my toddler, it's just a couple hours more before I take you guys to the doctor....gave them both gravel and tylenol and said to my toddler....come on honey...lets all lay on the couch together...Meagan, Brianna and mommy....I feel sooooo tired...I've put on an alarm and we'll just take a wee nap....
NOw....I"m just waking up from the nap and my children are still on top of me...they just wake up and I go to put them down to go the the fridge to get something to drink, i'm soooo parched...my tongues dry...I fall down...I can't walk...I'm too weak....what's happening...what day is this? I went to sleep monday wee hours and low and behold...the t.v. was saying its wednesday morning...this can't be...oooooohhh God....I'm scared...I crawl to the kitchen to get the milk and make it back to the living room to give my toddler her bottle that I didn't even warm, I force myself to drink cuz I have to nurse my daughter....I give her a bottle too...and then I get the phone and tell my friend from church what happened and ask her to come get us to take us to the doctor...who confirms we all have strep throat....I was amazed again that my friend brought all her children in the car, when we were sooo sick and I had not asked her to cuz I was afraid that her children would catch it...she said she wasn't fearful and that God would protect her.....she also blessed me with groceries and drove me home...I was sooooo happy we were alive...we were going to make it....now how about my laundry....yikes a stomach flu.....how was i going to have the strength to take my laundry to the laundry room? I prayed Lord, could you please put it on my neighbors hearts that someone could come to my door and offer to do my laundry....was that too much to ask?
Well...I think telling my testimoney doesn't show that I'm a pretty private person, and I don't let people know when I need something....and I don't think my home was set up in a way that showed I was needy.....God answered prayers left and right and I had everything i wanted sooo I thought...and who should phone me...this day that i was weak and needing help big time.....
A lady at church that I had seen around but didn't know.....she called and said, I'm wondering if you could use a washer and a dryer? WHAT? I thought, pardon me...I said..."people just don't give away washers and dryers...what is this.....I don't really.....well......hmmmmm yes.....I do really need a washer and a dryer....and wow....I had it the very next day.....can you believe it.....the very next day....my Father wanted the best for us.....he wasn't just going to provide help, but the means to do it all the time with great ease......
I have to go soon, there's more....but i just want to say one more thing tonight.....
There was this elderly man, I always ran into on the bridge going over the river by my home....he was pushing a shopping cart full of collected bottles and I'd be pushing my double long stroller, filled to the brim with groceries, toys for the babies, diaper bags, blankets....you name it....anyways...he always pass me and mention....you poor dear pushing such a heavy load.....and I would always say....naaaaaaaaaahhhhhh no way...I'm not pushing....God is....I'm just steering....I would see this elderly man sifting through our dumpster and I would think...one day I'm going to bake him some cinnamon buns or cookies or something.....
Well it was christmas and I had gone all out wanting to give my children the best ever christmas, filled with friends and feasts and presents galore, a tree and all the fixings.....and when Meagan was 2 I did...Ooooohhh it was just supreme! But obviously I wasn't thinking about Meagan's birthday on december 31, cuz the day before....the 31st..I look in the cupboards...trying to plan a cake and realize yikes...there's just nothing left...the fridge is bare and oooooohhh my gosh how stupid can I get....? I pray to God and ask forgiveness for my stupidity and ask Him to please bless me with a babysitting job that'll at least pay $20........hee hee........ooohhh my gosh.....my friend calls and says do you want to go to superstore later(the real canadian superstore, grocery chain, plus toiletries and clothing and household stuff, toys and pretty much everything you need for a 3 year olds party).....I think to myself...hey...I may get a babysitting job, I may have $20 to shop with or we may just go for the ride, to get out and be with friends...(superstore doesn't do testers) I say sure we'll come....
well let me back track a moment, you know that elderly man, Bill....let me say this....we ran into each other on the bridge weeks earlier and he asked me what nationality I was.....I told him I was first generation Canadian from a German heritage....He got serious very quickly and told me in a pained voice that it was the Germans that killed all his family...everyone of them....Ooooooohhh my gosh, my heart went out to him....I told him that, I'm really sorry, but even Germans suffered atrocities under Hitler....my grandmother was put in a concentration camp and tortured and beaten...because they thought she was a spy....my grandfather who was a police officer left the country before the war,(he didn't want to fight) to make a new home for my grandmother and mom.....he left to Canada....my grandmother ended up escaping, a jewish priest helped her escape, he loved my grandmother....well to the day she dead, she was always fearful and panic'y that the germans would one day find her...I said I didn't have a real grandma like most kids, cuz she was totally tormented by what she'd lived through....I left Bill thinking for sure things wouldn't be the same...he was still hurting....what could I do....?
Back to this morning, day before Meagan's third birthday...who should be at my door...but Bill the elderly man who collects bottles and seems sooo poor and maybe hates me now cuz I"m german......yikes....I hesitantly open my door and Bill says...I want you to meet my wife....we have something to give you could we come in, she's in the car, I'll get her and I say sure, I'll put on some tea and I think to myself...ooohhh gosh I hope they don't need lots of sugar or milk... I haven't got a lot....sooo they come in and they are a sweet elderly couple....we talk about families and they start telling me about they're dreams...and how...they are dreaming of me and the fact that I don't have a visible family taking care of me....they offer to help me whenever I need it and before the water is boiling for the tea...they hand me this very small envelope...and I was dearly reminded of my grandmother who was an artist and she would every so ofter give me these small envelopes with pictures in it....They said they had to leave and hoped that whatever was in the envelope would be an answer to prayers...I opened it and inside was $300..aaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh what's happening.....? I don't get this....I'm not poor I tell them...heck look around you...I have everything I need.....I don't need this money.....I can't take it..you are much poorer than I......His wife says...we are old...we need our sleep....God put it on our hearts to give this to you...be kind to us...now we can sleep....you need it...the Lord told us....my mouth hung open....I cried...hadn't I just prayed for a babysitting job for $20...what am I suppose to do....I can't take this....they said look outside we have a mini van, our house is paid...my husband bill, collects bottles to avoid waste and get exercise...he uses the money to bless people that need it....well...I ended up accepting the money and being blessed to pieces, blessed out of my mind....who would be soooo nice.....who would listen to God and do such a thing...I ended up buying groceries for the week, making a party for Meagan, with balloons and cake,presents and friend, goody bags....Ooooooooooohhh the Lord is Awesome....ask and ye shall recieve, pressed down and shaken together....tomorrow I'm working 12 hours...sooo I won't be able to update this again till march 19th wednesday...there's more....yup....more....can you believe it..
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