Finding RefugeWhat does it mean for God to be your true refuge?
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on the way to hell and jesus step change To all those who love Jesus Christ, I just thought I would let you know how Jesus has changed my life. Although I never attended church, this is my testimony. It started when I was 8 years old. I was $%#!ually molested / abused. I took on a spirit that put me on a different path. I went through school, getting in trouble. I started junior high school and there was a history teacher named Milton Little. He is also a pastor. He talked to me about Jesus at school, about how he could change me. I did not want to hear it at the time, but he planted a seed in me. Now going on in life living for the devil, when I thought of a godly man, I thought of Mr. Little. I got arrested at 16, (a felony cocaine charge). I had probably dealt with drugs my whole life. I had a momma that would always bail me out. I could not learn from my mistakes. I had bought a house, had a drywall business and I thought I had everything. I told momma look what we had done. I really didnt know who was in charge. I met a wonderful woman in the year 2000. I asked her to move in with me, but then I was not ready. So she moves to Arizona. I waited a while and then I called and asked her to marry me. I then got a credit card in my moms name and flew out to Arizona. I bought her a ring on this card. She agreed to marry me. She said she was coming back to move in with me. However, she did not know what she was coming back to in 2001. That is about the time all the problems started. I would pawn all of her belongings, and made her get her car repossessed. She still agreed to be my wife. We eventually got pregnant and had a beautiful little boy. I still could not stop using drugs. I even took my little boy with me when I went to buy drugs. I even did drugs in the care while he was in there. What kind of monster was I?? I ended up losing my house and we had to move in with my mother. I sold everything in my old house, (ripped everything out of there that was not nailed down). My mother had taken out another mortgage out on her house to get me out of financial trouble. She ended up losing her house in the process. We only stayed with my mom for about six months. My other family members told my mom that they would not help her if something happened, and it did! She had a stroke. My mom has to move in with her sister. My wife and I moved into a trailer that belonged to her family. That didnt last long. We got kicked out of there, because I was taking all of my wifes money to buy drugs. My wife and son had to move in with her mother. This started the downward spiral. I ended up homeless, sleeping in shelters, abandoned houses and eventually under bridges. I stayed in this state for about 6-7 months. My wife had started the process of buying a mobile home. She let me move in 2 months later. I wasnt back in the house a month, before I called the crack dealerto bring me some to the house. He bought $100.00 worth of crack to the house. I was cutting the crack up on a yellow piece of paper. When I looked at the paper, I found out is was the program from Bethany United Methodist Church. Guess who the pastor was? Milton Little!! He was only a mile away from my house. I started smoking it that morning and then my chest started hurting. I sat on the corner of the bed and I grabbed the remote control. The channel went from 206 straight to 372. There was a lady on TBN that said, for the man at home that is smoking crack, you are about to have a heart attack. I tried to change the channel, but it would not change. I threw the remote control against the wall and reached for the crack pipe. When I did, my chest starting hurting. Later a doctor told me that I had a small heart attack. If I had hit the pipe one more time, my heart would have exploded. So, when I went to grab it, something hit me in my chest, picked me off the ground and slammed me on the bed. I heard Jesus say I am tired of you doing what you are doing. I have come to you so many times and you have heard nothing I said. So now come here and let me show you where you are going. I tried to run out of the house. Two angels came down and held me down. I felt my spirit and soul come out of my body. There I was floating above the ceiling looking down at myself. Jesus said, Is that how you want to be remembered on this earth, for your wife and child to come home and find you dead? He said let me show you where you are going. The angels turned me to the right and showed me the lake of fire. The devil was sitting dead center, in black shadow form. I noticed his eyes more than anything. There were flames coming out of the lake of fire. There were souls reaching up, yelling Help, help, help! They were getting pulled back down in the fire. Jesus said it that where you want to spend eternity? I said No, Lord. Well, let me show you what I can do. I saw the beautiful golden gates of Heaven, Gods angels were flying around. There was Jesus in a white shadow form. He raised his arms, the light was so bright. I had felt something for the first time, this is what I always wanted to feel. That was the love of Jesus. There are no words that can express what I felt, but I know that is what I wanted. I started falling from Heaven and I said No, Lord that is where I want to go. The angels stopped between Heaven and hell. They showed my hell, then they showed me Heaven. Jesus said, Now, what do you want to do? I said God, I want to live for you. I fell back into my body, jumped up and threw the drugs away! God said, I am choosing you. I asked God, Why me? He says, Why not you? You are the best example of how I can step out of Heaven, touch your life and change you forever. When everybody looks at you and remembers who you were, they will know it was the grace and mercy of God that changed you. He told me to go to the ends of the earth and tell everybody what you saw, because you are my example of how powerful and merciful my grace is. I did not do a day in rehab. I have been clean for a two years now. Jesus said he could have stepped in before it happened, but I would not know him like I know him now. This experience has led me into the ministry. I can talk to so many different types of people now. He has truly given me the gifts of the spirit, all of them. I go to different churches now, talking to youth groups and people who dont know Jesus. Some of these people dont even go to church. This is probably the closest thing they will get to church. There is more to this testimony, but God is not through with me yet!! God was ordering our steps. He had already orchestrated putting Mr. Little in my life, way back from junior high school. You never know what kind of impact you will make in someones life, planting seeds about Jesus. I have been under Mr. Littles ministry, in Stedman NC, for the last year. He is my spiritual mentor. Anthony Hobbs