Seasons of GriefAre you going through a season of grief where you are struggling to grieve?
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- Joined: October 01, 2010
- Last Visit Date: 2010-10-01T16:13:55
I am a Mary Kay consultant, But most of all I love JESUS with all my heart!!! I know with all my heart he chose me. I Praise Him in everything I do!!!!I didn't always love the Lord ,I knew of him but did not know him. I believe you all know what I'm talking about.My mother she had faith at one time.She took my brother to see Oral Roberts to get his club foot healed. And Oral Roberts prayed and laid his hands on my brother.I guess my brother had faith too,because he was healed. Now you know it was not Oral that healed him it was God,he just used Oral as a tool.Well my brother was too young to know what was really going on but he knew he could walk like the other children and with no pain. Praise God ! God is so good. My mother was married three times. My brothers father,my father,and my sister's father.She married young to my brothers father.Their marriage didn't last because of both of them where just too young. Then my mother met my father and he was ten years older than her.My father adopted my brother and gave him his last name.But that marriage didn't last he was very abusive an alcoholic also he was in to drugs. He would beat her on a regular basis. The last time he did it he left her ,my brother and I in a ditch in front of my great grandmothers house. I was just an infant.He beat her to the point that her grandmother didn't know who she was.She only knew that was my mother because of my brother and I was there.Well needless to say God was looking out for us.Then my mother met my sister's father in a bar. And the hooked up.This marriage she was the older one. And the marriage lasted,yes it was a rocky one but it lasted.They fought allot and the house hold was being held together by threads.My parents shipped my brother off when i was about three .They claimed that he did some very inappropriate thing to me,and he stole all the time and he lied all the time. It wasn't until later in my life I found out that only parts of it was correct. My brother didn't trust my step father and did not like him. After seeing what my blood father did to mom he just could not bring himself to like him.And with them always drinking and fighting I guess I would feel the same way. To my step father my brother was just in the way,so he had mother ship him off. So I was raised with out my brother in my life.Oh as far as my brothers faith and my mothers faith of God and healing well my step father had crushed that. He did not believe in God and He made that very clear. He would often watch Oral Roberts just to mock him and laugh at him.I really don't believe my step father was a monster. You see he was in the Veiotnom war and just got out the year I was born in 1968. He always said "there was no God because if there was one he wouldn't of had to kill many children and women in the war!" So his heart was made hard from the war. I'm not making excuses for the way he believed but it did not make it easy for him.Now as for my childhood I was not aloud to leave the yard or go play with my friends. I was to stay in the house or in the yard. The only way I got to leave was to walk to the store or to the gas station four times a day to get their cigarettes,or walk the street curbs to find cigarettes butt's. Or to go house to house asking for a can of soup or a box of mac n cheese.so my sister and i had something to eat.Now that was embarrassing! Now it was not that my step father didn't have a good job because he did.He worked at a prison and at that time that was one of the job to get. If you got to work at the prison you were in the click. It was just my parents drank all their money away.My sister and I would cuddle in her bed at night and cover our ears and cry and tell each other it will better tomorrow.Then when I turned nine my parents thought should earn some money so I was aloud to babysit two doors down and another across the street.My parents said that, that money would go to food. But it didn't. Then they started to have me take food out of those peoples house and take it home before they would get home.Just to think of it now it makes me sick.I was taking food out of those families children mouths. (SORRY IT HAS TOOK ME SO LONG TO GET BACK WITH YOU ALL ,BUT I WILL WRITE MORE IN MY BLOGGING AREA.)