Married4Life's Blog

This dear little 5 year old can't seem to get enough when it comes to learning about God. You don't get by without reading a Bible story after dinner if Kylies around! She can't wait! She even looks at the book whenever she has time. She tells me quite often that she has Jesus in her heart. She's a little sponge right now and can't seem to get enough of Jesus. It's so awsome seeing a child so excited. We often say that the first thing we're going to do when we get to heaven is sit on Jesus lap and give Him a big hug and kiss. We're going to do that together. Then we're going to go ask Noah how he built that huge Ark. Kylie also loves having that servant heart and thinking of her friends first. She's quite a little child of God! We'll miss her. She just started Kindergarten yesterday. It'll be fun though, watching her grow up through her school years. God has great plans for Kylie!

This little sweetheart is so wise, she forgets NOTHING! Whenever I tell them the 2 recent stories about my son coming close to getting bit in the face by a rattle snake at work, yet saved by a teenagers courageous act and my husband passing out while driving, from a Vasovagal Synacope and God getting us to the side of the road, eventually to a complete stop while Dougs been passed out for awile, no one at the wheel, (still blows my mind) anyway, Lillie always adds, with a very believing spirit, "ACTUALLY, IT WAS THE HAND OF GOD THAT SAVED THEM!" Shes a bold little woman and it's going to be exciting to see how God uses her growing up! At 3 years old, she's a bright shining light for Jesus!

Whenever we pray at my daycare, we talk alot about why we shut our eyes when we pray, what prayer really is and why we do it, how important it is to God and how lonely it must be for Him if we never talk to Him. I've asked the kids many times,"Could you imagine if no one ever talked to you? How would you feel?" God wants us to come to Him and talk with Him about everything!

Well, my sweet little Jenna does this at her home. I'm sure this isn't just all my teaching, because she has wonderful christian parents. But her mother told me that one day when they were finished having a fun, special, family time outside, it was time to go in. Jenna wanted to stay outside so she could be by herself and talk to God. So her family went in and she stayed outside. They watched her out the window and she was walking around, sometimes swinging, whatever, but the lips were constantly moving! She was talking with her Lord! Wow! At age 4, thats awsome! She's got a great start in life. May she continue to talk with her beautiful Savior because life is tough as you grow up and WE NEED HIM! God loves little children and I feel so blessed to be able to be a part of their lives and help them grow in Gods love!

Another thing Jenna does is she constantly see's the cross of Jesus everywhere! Amazing! She can be gluing something and if she has a top spot of glue, a bottom spot of glue and two side spots of glue, her comment is,"Hey, it's the cross of Jesus!" Such excitement! Or if she see's anything that resembles a triangle. Her comment is, "Hey, it's the Triune God, three in one! God, Jesus, Holy Spirit!" We talk about that a lot, but she brings it out all the time! Shes so special! God has great plans for her!

Even though I had been a christian my whole life, something still seemed to be missing in my walk with the Lord. I loved Him so much and enjoyed raising my family for Him, yet something was still wrong!!!

After some great pain and total surrender to Christ, He showed me it was intimacy with Him. There was never a real closeness even tho I loved Him so much.

How do you get close to anyone? You spend time "one on one" with them. I didn't do that daily. Plus I prayed, but never did I pray "Lord use me"! Are you kidding! HE MIGHT! And that would put me way out of my comfort zone.

I purposely NEVER prayed that prayer back then, because

I might then have to pray with someone one on one, boldly witness, the list goes on. Someone might even call me a "Jesus Freak"! I couldn't handle that judgement from anyone during that time in my life!

I now see that so many of those things kept me at a certain distance from Christ. It's amazing what some good old pain can do for you.

The pain made me completely rely on Christ and not on my own understanding. It brought me to my knees with true repentance! It made me want to get OUT of my comfort zone, to pray with someone one on one, to boldly witness, to not care anymore if someone judged me or called me a "Jesus Freak". Thats what total surrender to Christ did. It took a little while to get bold enough, TO NOT CARE AT ALL WHAT OTHERS THOUGHT OF ME, because that had been one of my worst traits, my whole life. I guess I cared more what people thought of me, then what my Lord thought of me. That's terrible!

I Love my Lord so much that I think about Him every second it seems. He's on my mind 24/7 and I also try to put Him in my actions the same. And when I don't, I'm convicted so quickly and have to make things right.

I'm still a sinner! But I can now, truely feel His love in the deepest way ever. For the first time ever (in 2002, my year of healing) I FELT SO SPECIAL! Not any more special then anyone else, just special to my Lord and Savior. Because He loves me, just because! Unexplainable, but so cool!

I now try to live my life for Christ because it's all about Him, and not about me! I still fall short! But He takes me just the way I am.

True repentance is huge! During my total surrender, it was all about repentance. Asking our Father for forgiveness for being the biggest sinner in the world! You, yourself! Not others! When you finally see and realize that "YOU" are the biggest sinner in the world and not others, it changes you in a powerful way! Plus, you try your hardest from that point on to not judge or gossip about others, but help them, with other christians, also praying for them and helping them in the name of Jesus Christ!

2 Corinthians 7:9-10 is so packed full of wisdom and tells you what comes from godly sorrow and hurt and how it then changes you. Please go to the Word of God and look it up.

My testimony part 2 goes much more into detail of what happened in my life and marriage. Hopefully some people will be able to relate and then heal, but only with "His" help. True healing only comes through CHRIST!