Jennschem's Blog

What is the reason to survive?  Why are humans constantly seeking some sort of purpose?  Why are we always searching, and why do so few of us seem to find what we're looking for?  Basically, to sum all of this up, what's the point?  

There's really only one answer to that question, and so far, most people have gotten it wrong.  The world as a whole in present times has plunged after love and !@@!, something that drives us.  A smaller but still vast part of the population has turned to God or a god to fill their void, their thirst for a purpose.  Other's in less obvious ways turn to other things.  All in all, we all turn to something to fill our holes, our missing voids that nothing seems to permanently paste up.  Eventually the glue hardens and tears away, leaving the hole bigger.  The worship and want of power has corrupted the majority of governments.  Always wanting more power than they have, it soon turns into their need.  Materialism is found everywhere, the malls, the movies, worship and the constant "I need more, more... more.... more."  It's obvious we'll never be full!  The styles change, our wants change, and still we lack something.  Still we want more.  

We have this constant drive for something- for purpose, for things, for objects, for people, for love- for a REASON.  We're never full, we know something is lacking.  This hole, this emotional and spiritual void, is there for a reason.   

Here's the purpose of life, to sum it up, the world has figured this one out in all the wrong ways.  

Love.  

Love is the purpose of life.  But I'm not talking about this world's distorted, messed up, air-brushed sort of love.  I'm not talking about lust or even "falling in love" sort of love.  I'm talking about love.  The true love.  Love the feeling is fantastic, but Love itself is something totally different.  Love is what fills that void, love is what can drive us if we find the right sort of love, love overcomes all things.  And love is a powerful, moving force, which softens even the hardest hearts.  

Love is gentle, love is kind, love is powerful, love is perfect, love is never jealous or proud, love is never rude, love is patient, love is all, and God is love.

"For God so LOVED the world that He gave His only begotten son, that whomever believes in Him shall not die, but have eternal life." John 3:16.  

"Dear friends, let us  love one another, for love comes from God." 1 John 4:7.

"God is love.  Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him." 1 John 4:16.

There's so much more in the Bible about God's love, but I won't expound on that right now, not in the way most of us have heard it a thousand times.  "God loves you," "Jesus loves you." That's nice, what does that mean?  Why does God have to love me, why should I love Him?  If God loves everyone, that doesn't make me special then, does it.

God doesn't have to love anyone, God has the purest reason in the world to hate us all.  Sin.  We're stained with it, we live in it, we breath it, we eat it, we talk it.  But we aren't it.  We are not sin.  God created us beautiful, and He still loves us, and wants to see us beautiful again.  That's why His son Jesus Christ died for us, to make us pure, clean, washed, so that we could once again have intimacy with Him.

We should love God because He first loved us.  We should at least try- try to seek something.  Try to know there's more out there than all this temporary bull #@## we try to fill ourselves with.  There is a reason for all this.  That reason is love.  

Most of us know the "in love" sensation.  We lose sleep thinking about our lover, we talk about them, dream about them, talk to them even when they aren't there, concentrate on them, write about them, draw for them.  They get us to do things we originally wouldn't be caught dead doing.  Because we love them.  Lots of the world has decided that this "sensation" of love, is love itself.  But thats way off base.  Love itself is God.  Love itself is unselfish, and while loving someone, we can be excruciatingly selfish.  Love itself is not rude, we all know when we get mad at our lover, still loving them, we can be downright mean.  Love- love is something much deeper than just a feeling.  Feelings change, ebb and flow, but love stays the same.  True love is what keeps a tired couple together, not the sensation, when people feel like they hate each other, what is there that keeps them together?  What really is left as a foundation when feelings betray us?  True Love.  God Himself is the tie between people when true love is found.  Marriage is a covenant with God.  That's why there are an enormous amount of divorces today, love the sensation, is mistaken for true love.  True love has to bond the people- true love has to hold them up when nothing else will. Emotions will never stay forever.  But true love is God, and God never leaves.  

The reason to survive isn't even a true love with a partner.  The reason we exist, the reason God created the world, was all for love.  And true love towards all people, towards God, this is our purpose.  True love.  That's why the world is seeking it in all the wrong placesâ it wants it, it's ravenous for it, but doesn't know what it is, or how to get it and hold onto it.  

The answer is in Jesus Christ our Lord.  Lover of our souls.  Through Him, because He first loved us, we will find that our cup runneth over, and we are so full, so full of love- that we can't help but know, that this is it.  This is so fantastic, and unreal even.  Magical.  True love towards all people and God, is why we are here.  Its our fulfillment, and purpose. 

True loveâ and God is love.

"This is my blood of the covenant, which is poured out for many for the forgiveness of sins." (Matt 26:28)
Forgiveness is an incredibly important part of God Himself. We sin against Him daily, hourly some days, in our thoughts, in our hearts. We are a sinful, horrible people. Yet while we are still sinners, He died for us. He forgave us, He loves us so much, that He died for a people He could and should hate. He had every right to hate us, yet no, He LOVES us! How incredible, How great, is a love that forgives!
We can't even look at this enough, we have tons of illustrations from the Bible that Jesus Christ died for the forgiveness of our sins. He forgave and continues to forgive! He went through the torture of life and death on earth, then resurrected so that we might have life! Stop living in fear and worry and doubt that you are a beloved. God isn't abandoning you, dear Child. God died for you, stop doubting the velocity of His tender love, compassion, and forgiveness.
No amount of righteousness, no amount of "perfection" about us, can increase God's forgiveness or love for us! I am no better than anyone. For we all sin! Yet, only through God's grace are we forgiven, and quite astoundingly, we are loved!
"What shall we conclude then? Are we any better? Not at all! We have already made the charge that Jews and Gentiles alike are all under sin. As it is written:
"There is no one righteous, not even one;
there is no one who understands,
no one who seeks God.
All have turned away,
they have together become worthless;
there is no one who does good,
not even one."
"Their throats are open graves;
their tongues practice deceit."
"The poison of vipers is on their lips."
"Their mouths are full of cursing and bitterness."
"Their feet are swift to shed blood;
ruin and misery mark their ways,
and the way of peace they do not know."
"There is no fear of God before their eyes." (Romans 3:9-18)
NONE of us can amount up to perfection. Not even one. Oh Jesus loves you, its not something you earn, can amount up to, or can do anything to enhance or degrade! Jesus LOVES YOU!! Praise God for that amazing love He has given so freely!
"But now a righteousness from God, apart from law, has been made known, to which the Law and the Prophets testify. This righteousness from God comes through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe. There is no difference, for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus. God presented him as a sacrifice of atonement, through faith in his blood. He did this to demonstrate his justice, because in his forbearance he had left the sins committed beforehand unpunishedâ he did it to demonstrate his justice at the present time, so as to be just and the one who justifies those who have faith in Jesus." (Romans 3:21-26)
"Do we, then, nullify the law by this faith? Not at all! Rather, we uphold the law." (Romans 3:31)
Dear Child, How do we honor our Father in Heaven if we aren't going to obey Him? Jesus Said, If you love the Father, You will obey me. Only through Grace do we really come to repentance, only through grace and forgiveness of our sins are we saved.
He always takes you back. There is never a moment that He is not sitting on edge with baited breath, just waiting for you to turn back. He's not shunning you, shaming you. He's waiting with open arms for a child He loves. His heart-broken heart, abused and misused unendingly, is willing to take it all over and over again, just for you. Just for us. His beloved, Dearly beloved Children.
Jesus Christ said to Peter, to forgive his neighbor seventy times seven, not the literal number four-hundred ninety, but metaphorically, ALWAYS forgive! Jesus separates us from our sin as far as the east is from the west, shouldn't we do that with those we love, and our enemies as well? Forgiveness is so freeing, so beautiful, like a rose after the thorns have pricked your fingers.
Even if someone doesn't ask forgiveness, do we hold it against them? Do we carry them and their transgression beside us, and harbor our hatred in our heart. Do we let ourselves hang onto it, simply because they didn't say sorry.
No! No, no, no. Are we ever to stop forgiving? Are we ever to let the sun go down on our anger? It destroys us and does nothing to them! We are put into slavery and they are free to live, free of guilt, free of possibly even knowledge of what they've done to you.
When we don't forgive, it's our problem, not theirs. When we don't drop what they've done to us, when we don't forgive and forget, and give a second chance, third, fourth, fifth, or sixth chance, we are put into chains, and lose so much of what God gave us.
Human love is imperfect, always going to fail us and always going to hurt us, but Jesus isn't like that! Love from humans is but a taste of what Jesus has in store for us, of what Jesus has to offer. A love that never fails. Oh God, thank You for the beautiful love You have poured out upon us.
We are all in need of forgiveness, none of us are perfect, none of us are without a failure, having hurt either God or ourselves, or someone else. The beautiful, astronomical thing is; Jesus always, always forgives us. Always loves us, never stops. Believe in that beautiful redemptive blood that He spilled out just for you! Because He loves you, and forgiveness was held out for you.
And if we are to live as Jesus lives, we forgive everything. It's never easy, but always freeing. Always beautiful in the end.

Today we're talking about prayer. How when we pray we so often think it has to be perfect. There are two or three ways we usually end up responding to this.
1. We don't pray at all. We think we're too lowly, too dirty, too unworthy to even speak to God. We think of Him as condescending upon our foolish, unworthy attempts at prayer. We may even know these things to be untrue, but can't seem to understand them. There's a big difference. And thinking God wants the "perfect prayer" or else He's sitting on a pedestal judging you, just brings you down, and frustrates God. "You judge by human standards; I pass judgment on no one." (John 8:15) He's here and loves you and always, always wants to hear your voice! He has every right to judge us yet He doesn't! ".... whoever comes to me I will never drive away." (John 6:37) That includes you.
2. We ramble on and on and on and on, making sure to not leave anything out and beg, and plead, and scream. Basically in emotional sac-cloth and ashes, trying to be heard by God, begging and only dreaming that He will listen, feeling if we ease up even a little bit all will be lost. "And when you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words. Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him." (Matt. 6:7-8) This doesn't mean its wrong to cry out to God with our souls, repeating ourselves because we want to honestly scream our hearts out of agony, it means don't worry so much or think you will be heard by many words. He hears you! Every sigh within your soul He listens to. "Then Jesus told his disciples a parable to show them that they should always pray and not give up. He said: "In a certain town there was a judge who neither feared God nor cared about men. And there was a widow in that town who kept coming to him with the plea, 'Grant me justice against my adversary.' "For some time he refused. But finally he said to himself, 'Even though I don't fear God or care about men, yet because this widow keeps bothering me, I will see that she gets justice, so that she won't eventually wear me out with her coming!' " And the Lord said, "Listen to what the unjust judge says. And will not God bring about justice for his chosen ones, who cry out to him day and night? Will he keep putting them off? I tell you, he will see that they get justice, and quickly. However, when the Son of Man comes, will he find faith on the earth?" (Luke 18:1-8) Be faithful in praying, I'm not saying not to pray or talk to God, even rambling and honestly conversing with Him is awesome, but I'm saying don't think that God won't hear you unless you beg.
3. We actually become prideful! We start more like, exalting ourselves with the way we pray, and talk to ourselves, not God. We stand in the "synagogues" of either our own mind, or literally go out in public and pray loudly the "perfect prayer,".... or so it would seem. Praying with others is NOT wrong, but praying the perfect prayer- literally picking and choosing the perfect prayers to impress people- thats wrong, the Bible even warns against that. "Be careful not to do your 'acts of righteousness' before men, to be seen by them. If you do, you will have no reward from your Father in heaven." (Matt 6:1)
Okay well now that I've mentioned the three most common ways.... There really is no "right way" to pray. But prayer; God wants really, of all things. Belief.
He talks about this all throughout the entire Bible. But let's think about it on our level for a second. How would you like it if someone kept asking you for something, but didn't believe you to get it for them at all? They're asking you for no reason. All Jesus is REALLY asking us to do when we pray, is to BELIEVE Him! BELIEVE His will will be done! Believe that no matter what happens, its for our good and the good of those according to His purpose. A Father whose son had a demon, Jesus asked him "do you believe?" He said, "Yes, Lord, I believe!" Then called out humiliatingly honestly, and really risking everything, "Help me with my unbelief!" (Mark 9:24)
"Who by worrying can add a single hour to his life?" (Matt 6:27) Don't pray out of worry, Jesus wants you to pray out of belief!
Also, when you pray, if you are worried, let Him know you're worried. If you are burdened tell Him. Tell Jesus everything! Only He can be our dumping grounds, which we often mistake other people for. "Come to me all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." (Matt 11:28)
He loves you! When you love someone you want to know exactly what their thinking, feeling... You want to know them. God wants you to know Him and talk to Him. Jesus was perpetually honest with His Father.
"'Abba, Father,' he said, 'everything is possible for you. Take this cup from me. Yet not what I will, but what you will.'" (Mark 14:36)
Jesus was honest, Jesus believed, and Jesus accepted that God's will be done!
Please believe God when He says He LOVES you!
"For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angles nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." (Romans 8:38-39)
Our honesty won't make Him love us any less or any more. Nothing can change His unfathomable love for us! Nothing about us shocks Him, for He knows us far better than we know ourselves.
"And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise him up. If he has sinned, he will be forgiven." (James 5:15)
Believe.

Today, Dear beloved reader, I'm not sure what I'm writing about. I've fallen asleep spiritually - a huge gap of unknown time fell between this chapter and the last one you read. Depression set in and quite a few truly awful things started up, not in my circumstances, but in my soul.
But something click in me, today (or the day I will be writing this.) I still feel as if I'm in a daze, walking through life on the road of apathy and exhaustion, but today I was talking to an amazing friend of mine, Chris Hammond. Something, something, about even talking to Chris opens up my heart and soul to spiritual truths and revelations. Chris is a friend, a person, a human, yet He has Jesus Christ within Him and an amazing anointing upon Him from the Holy Spirit. Jesus Christ speaks through him simply being in my presence, Chris doesn't even say anything. I'll be with Chris, I'll say something and be shocked at what I said, because it's truth revealed through the spirit, not even truly my own words!
Thank you Jesus Christ for a friend like Chris.
Today, where this is all leading too, is storms. Our life's storms and battles. When we feel insane. When we have a literal war waging inside of us. When we've almost dropped dead from a sudden or gradual, extreme and unexpected attack..
Here and now. You are not insane my dear dear beloved sibling in Christ. My God, I love you, if you are going through a time when you think you can't go any further, please, please, please know:
This storm, it's been brewing behind the mountain for quite some time. It has finally surpassed the strength you thought you had, and is now dumping down, making you cry out like the disciples in the storm while Jesus was sleeping: "Lord don't you even care that we are about to drown?!" O, O Dear Child. Precious One of God, He cares. This storm has been there the whole time, and this storm will make you stronger. But don't jump out of the boat were Jesus is able to hold you. Stay, even when you hate Him who loves you, "Please, baby, stay." You will see someday, so stay.
I'm going to relate to you, my reader, some of what I've been going through and really still am. I want you to know of the hope there is!
I'm not sure how long ago all this started, I mean I literally have no idea. I'll say maybe a month and a half agoâ I started fasting to pull closer to God. Well Satan, like with Jesus in the desert, decided, "Now, in her time, in God's time of strength, I will strike her heal while she least expects it."
That he did. I can't even remember why or how this all started, but I, because of extreme loneliness and (to find out later) also because of an extremely low, devastated self-esteem.... I cut myself. In fact I'm still struggling with itâ It's not something easily overcome.
Fine, label me. Emo. Sinner. Satanic. I know I'll be chewed up and spit out for admitting how utterly human and sinful I am- but what can I tell you other than the truth? Every time I did it/do it I felt/feel so so much worse.
So why did I do it yall? Why?
The battle of flesh and spirit. I can sense it, hear it- each one a completely, entirely different creature within me, and its the same with all of us. You may not feel it, but its there.
Evil me says, "Do it, duh. It feels good. Makes you feel beautiful in a demented way, and aside from that you deserve pain. You're fat, you're ugly, you're so evil, so dirty. I hate you."
Good me is drowned out though I can feel her screaming in the shadows, "Stop!" âShe's arguing logic and truth against it, but its all muffled out by evil me, clasping her wicked hand over good-me's mouth.
So I do it, but then it seems that "good-me" gets the cut- a wound she didn't deserve. She asks me, "Why? Why Jenn? Just Why?"
This spiritual battle is so potent, so real, so indescribably hard to deal with, and it makes it so hard to us to figure out who we really are.
Romans 7:15 & 21-25
"I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do, I do not do, but what I hate I do."
"So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God's law; but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members. What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord!"
An amazing verse completely showing how our minds seem to operateâ but lets read the next verse. Romans 8:1-3
"Therefore there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death. For what the law was powerless to do in that it was weakened by the sinful nature, God did by sending his own Son in the likeness of a sinful man to be a sin offering."
Ultimately, love, we will come out of this battle victorious! We will arise out of the dust and shake it from our bodies. We will come out!
I don't know what sort of battle or what sort of storm your in, but we stand already rescued because we are in Jesus' boat! When the waves are crashing in and the lightning strikes, when the boat beneath you is sinking, remember that Jesus is in your boat. He will not and has never forgotten you. He's in love with you! You invade His dreams at night, you leave Him in love-sick pain when you are hurting and doubt what He has done for you! When we doubt that He even CARES! Oh baby, He loves you so much, He is weeping and holding you when you weep and need to be held. Don't shove away His hand, He's begging to be in Your boat, holding you close.
When this storm passes, you will dance again.

(overcoming.)

Today this chapter is about lust. The word or even conversations about lust are avoided radically by society- church and the non-church crowd as well.
Lust... an addiction. A damaging, destroying, hurtful addiction. People who fall into lust often don't realize where they are headed until it is "too late." Often times, it really does become a habit, like many sins do. First time, the person feels awful, like dirt, perhaps that continues, yet they don't stop, and eventually it becomes a ritualistic "who cares" sort of thing. They know they should, yet they don't, and don't know what to do about it.
First things first though, let's use the Bible to explain what lust is.
"You have heard is said, 'Do not commit adultery.' But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart." (Matt. 5:27-28)
Lust is not the temptation to look, and stare, lust is giving into that temptation. Lust isn't seeing someone and noticing their beauty. Lust is seeing them not as a person, but as an object to use in your mind. As something instead of someone to heighten your own senses. Lust is deliberate use of someone else's body, against their will or knowledge even, and using it in your mind.
Men, you aren't alone in this. Women reading this, please wake up! Please don't make it harder for men to be pure in thought by wearing low-shirts or short-shorts. Maybe you enjoy attention, okay, I read you. But, Oh please, "make up your minds not to put a stumbling block in your brothers' way." In this pornography-filled world where %#@% is god to society, the last thing women need to be doing is tempting or torturing men's minds. Don't talk, walk, or act certain ways cause you want to impress or get attention. 1. The attention is !#!, not you. It's hurting both of you, not just the guy. It's perverting and poisoning his mind, not only towards you, but towards other women as well. It's unlikely that he's only going to lust after you, since al that is is using your body within his mind. It's your body, it's not even you.
For you guys, I'm not saying here, "It's all guys fault. Guys are pigs." I'm so so so so so so so sick of that. I'm sick of females hating men, and thinking that it's all your fault. Well for all you gals who think that, it takes two to tango. We all have problems but I'm sick of men's specific problem of lust being exploited as an industry. I'm so very sorry that this is even a battle you have to fight. Its a sick world out there; but I ultimately want to give you hope. Jesus Christ gave you this beautiful hope! Trust Him, He has not and will never turn His back on you. He hasn't forgotten you or let go. He's not standing by, watching you fall and fail time and time again. He will never forget you, and there is no condemnation in Christ, not for any failing. NO condemnation.
You, His dear, dear beloved child, may have a lust problem. You might feel disgusting, like hopeless s#@!@. But okay, you may have a problem and it may feel like there is no escape for you, but I promise you there is. I can promise you because Jesus promises you there will be no temptation that is too great to withstand. I know that definitely doesn't feel true, but it is. Only with Jesus, and pain, and work.
It's a @@!%ed lie, satan telling you your hopeless. And that wasn't a swear, that lie is from hell, and I mean it. There is always hope, and thats the opposite of what your eyes tell you, and definitely opposite of what satan whispers in your ear. Don't doom yourself! Believe!
"For I know the plans I have for you,' Declares the Lord, 'Plans not to harm you, but to prosper you. Plans to give you a hope and a future.'" Jeremiah 29:11.
Dearly Beloved, Your sins- including lust- are washed away by the blood of the lamb. Since when has the Savior's blood been too weak for a specific sin? It's only because of our humanity that we classify sins into categories of "forgivable" and "unforgivable."
Believe in Jesus. Pray, and I'm not saying lust or any sinful addiction is easy to overcome. But "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Right now you may feel like- Well I can't do it. I just wish God would do it all for me, cause I believe in Him, just not me.
Jesus Christ believes in YOU! Who are we to doubt those whom He believes in?
You can. No matter how many times you fail per week or day, I want you - and this goes for any addictive sin - to say into the mirror:
"I believe in You, because Jesus does."
I know it sounds silly, but I firmly believe it will help. You need to approve of you. You need to believe in you.
Again, be reminded of how vast God's love is for you.
Nothing can separate us from the love of God.