AsgerP's Blog

Hi there... :-)
Today my blog is giving credit to the young Australian girl by the name of Rebecca St. James. The last couple of days, her song "Hold me Jesus" has just been a wonderful song that precise something deep within me, it touches me and expresses things I could not express in any better way myself, so here it is :

Sometimes my life just don't make sense at all
When the mountains look so big
And my faith just seems so small

So hold me Jesus, I'm shaking like a leaf
You have been King of my glory
Won't You be my Prince of Peace

And I wake up in the night and feel the dark
It's so hot inside my soul
There must be blisters on my heart

So hold me Jesus, I'm shaking like a leaf
You have been King of my glory
Won't You be my Prince of Peace

Surrender don't come natural to me
I'd rather fight You for something I don't really want
Than to take what You give that I need
And I've beat my head against so many walls
I'm falling down, I'm falling on my knees

And this Salvation Army band is playing this hymn
And Your grace rings out so deep
It makes my resistance seem so thin

Oh, hold me Jesus, I'm shaking like a leaf
You have been King of my glory
Won't You be my Prince of Peace

Oh, hold me Jesus, I'm shaking like a leaf
You have been King of my glory
Won't You be my Prince of Peace

You've been King of my glory
Won't You be my Prince of Peace

If you dont know Rebecca St. James, then she is hereby recommended - please take a look and step inside her website : http://www.rsjames.com/default.aspx

Blessings out there :-)

Have you thought about how temporary life is ? I mean, of course the BIG picture, but also the periodic seasons are so temporary. It is like going to a theather, it has different acts, different parts and breaks in between. No matter what you experience, and specially the nice things - that you DO wish would last for ever, they just not last eternally, they DO stop! And that is the issue....they do stop...... there is no beginning, if there is no stop, there is no stop if there is no beginning......
But hey, then God comes on the scene....He is like the GREAT EXCEPTION, He declares I am the beginning and the end, the HUMAN HISTORY beginning that IS and the HUMAN HISTORY end ! So in a sense, even God, who is eternal, have a begin and a stop..............
Take this school, today it stumbled me and almost shocked me to discover, to realize how short time we have left here - and I still have NO clue what so ever on what to do after this is finish - in short summarize, there is may month of lectures, june and a couple of weeks into july, they go for the BIG outreach again and then a few weeks lectures and graduation, the school is finish in the end of july ! A beginning and an end.... just as we become one big family here.......
Today the 2 teams went back to the base, YWAM Chiang Rai, and now the school is up and running in full gear...... or almost, because today is a holiday-day, take-care-of-yourself-food and so....but else next week probably back to normal schedules!
Updates on visa ------ nothing new, but until now 4 people share me, advice me, to go to Laos, Vientiane, to try apply for "marriage-visa" (non-o), so it sounds like I better run that risk........ advices are still welcome :-)
Today I talked with my dad on the phone as well, it was okay, but it bothers me how people when they become old, seems SO fascinating about always talking about sickness and health.............anyway, I will tell you in about 30-40 years from now if that is true, hehe.......
Also today, seems to be the BIG issue of that old man in Austria who kept his daughter captive in a cellar in 24 years........I read a lot about that case and as many other people, wondering WHY...what is the motive......hmmmmm.........
At the same time I was reading a article about the status of Christian bookstores in America.....I myself have a HUGE dream of opening one some day, but it just have not happened yet, for one reason or the other hehe.........
Anyway, I am happy the "other part of our big family" has come home and we are all here now...... praise God :-)

Hi there.... :-)
Do you remember when we were little children and the door had to be shut to keep the light out ? At least I do....... and at times, it happened that the door was just almost shut, not completely, and it some light could still enter the room and specially if it was the old kind of doors, then the light could simply just get through from under the door, clever, ehh....
Follow me here, light represents hope and to stay in the picture, there are times when hope, just a little one, needs to enter just under the door for us to see it, that little space is enough, the light/the hope enters and right there, is the light, the thing that makes the darkness disappear and changes the atmosphere! That is exactly how I felt today.....
If you have followed these blogs you know my visa-situation and it makes it "heavy times" for me, it worries me, even I do know that it should not - but it does, it drags me down into some heaven burden that I cannot lift and it leaves me helpless and worried. Today my mute was quite much gone, everything was annoining and inside I was just angry..........tired of it all and tempted to give in to it all..........then it happened, the light under the door came in; it happened exactly when I passed through an article in Christianity Today (CT) where there is this article/interview with a Turkian pastor. I guess it is the march edition of CT. Well, this guy shares about persecution.....after all Turkey is a stronghold of muslims, since 95 % of the people there have been deceived into Islam.
Anyway......the uplifting point is when he starts to share about THE SILENCE OF GOD.....that is my light under the door that slips right in to me. He says that "the silence of God does not mean the absence of God" and later on he quotes C.S. Lewis from the Screwtape letter, where one deamon is sharing to a nother about christians and giving out the point that, what the devil most hate is when we refuse to give up, DESPITE the silence of God and then NOT belivieving that God is absence - absence and silency is NOT the same! SO UPLIFTING to read that, right here I am and then that hits me......the light under the door, the hope, the little glimpse..........as I experience the silence of God, I wonder if He really is that silent at all right now, because maybe He just decided to speak through a "coincidentially" placed Christianity Today magazine in my hands :-)
Bless you out there and whatever you are in; please dont give up.............................

It is amazing how it sometimes seems more easy to think negative than thinking positive, it is easier to find the negative sides of something than finding the positive sides, or is that just me ? Anyway....I am still struggling with this 22. may complex, what should I do ? I still have no answer what so ever, unless that is looks like a "goodbye Thailand" thing.........but without any money it is definitily difficult to know where to go and what to do - what else can I do but screaming H-E-L-P and writing here and there to hope for someone, somewhere will be a "door-opener" :-)
Yesterday we watched the last Bourne-movie....Bourne Ultimatum....it is good, but there are quite some similarities to number 2, the Bourne Supremecy.....hmm.... how there is always some trator, someone you cannot trust who turn out to be a more bad guy than at first and then the everlasting-theme, someone is following you! I guess after this "Bourne-trip" I easy to suffer from paranoia............. hehe....
Else the team from Montana, USA, just went back this morning, to visit a tribe-village here in Thailand....so the school is more quiet now. 2 of our friends just came this morning also, so we are 6 persons here. The students come back on tuesday, we just heard that.
I am trying to build up a site on the hi5..... www.asgerp.hi5.com - if you visit, feel free to write me a message in the guestbook, then I know that at least someone is reading my blog here hehe..... sometimes I wonder who is reading this at all and if any, who, since nobody ever comments it in here!
Blessings out there.........and take care, it is a dangerous world!!!!

It is sometimes overwhelming to be a human, it is too much, too many impressions, too many thoughts and too many experiences - I heard one time that what people experienced about 500 years ago, in a whole life-time, we now experience in only ONE DAY!!! That sounds amazing, but I would not be surprised if it is true.........
With so many things going on for all of us, no matter what we do or not do, we all need someone or something to lean upon, something or someone who in one way or the other can "take the pressure off the pressure-cooker"........specially when it becomes too much....
In that sense, I believe the Hollywood-industry enjoys it - specially all the way to the bank - that we all seem to need and enjoy this ESCAPISM, this 2 hour session of escaping, getting a little way from it all under a nice streamline movie. I did that yesterday, when I enjoyed watching THE BOURNE IDENTITY - which is by the way a very good movie (tonight planning to continue that serie....3 in total...Matt Damon). It makes you wonder how important it is to know your identity, as Jason Bourne was struggling with finding his indeed is many people today, maybe myself as well at times :-)
Anyway.....I enjoyed meeting a friend today, friday, who basically just listening to me and all my complains (without taking them in as his worries, see that is actually not a help at all.....) and I guess that is a basic human need, we all need someone who listen to us as well as asking us questions. It might even be a reason for me to do blogging at all.....
Remember that God has put humans TOGETHER and we are not meant to do it on our own, we are all set in a fellowship, little or small, where we can travel together, inspire, encourage and strengthen each other and just being there together.......I guess that is what a church is as well, certainly NOT a building of stones, but a building of hearts, listeners, emphaty, sharing etc.
It might make a good picture of the thing that we never really find our IDENTITY with out finding it in something/someone OUTSIDE OURSELVES (even that there are many people trying to do so........). OUR IDENTITY IS A PART OF SOMETHING/SOMEONE....and it is find in that............. My name is not Jason Bourne, but I might at times sing together with U2 "I still haven´t find what Im looking for" - I have found and still haven´t find, not opposites, but a description of the chasing-life....... bless you all on the journey of life!!! :-)